


For None to See

by saucyminx



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-10
Updated: 2011-05-10
Packaged: 2017-10-28 05:18:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 35,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/304177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saucyminx/pseuds/saucyminx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen has always pursued the “myths” of the world, UFOs, Big Foot, and now, the mysterious jungle man on a far off island. It seemed simple enough, spending a few weeks camping in the jungle just to do a little research. Nothing could ever prepare him for the man he meets there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Ever since Jensen was a child, he loved stories. There wasn’t a real reason, it simply became a passion, a pastime, something Jensen could escape to when his life became too much. As a boy, it was fairy tales, The Grimm brothers when his parents weren’t paying attention, Roald Dahl when they were, simple little stories that followed Jensen into dreams and make-believe.

In high school, it changed; shortly after the death of his parents, Jensen realized that fairy tales weren’t enough to pull him from reality. Maybe because his own reality was too glaring, and fiction was too far gone, Jensen didn’t find the same comfort in neatly woven fantasies. Which was ultimately how he turned to the obsession that changed his life. Stories that stretched the mind, made a person question, and were quite possibly true.

Jensen worked his way through the more popular -- bigfoot, Loch Ness monster, UFO sightings and the chupacabra -- the summer after his high school graduation, he drove cross-country, hitting up every supposedly haunted hotel he could find. Jensen drank up every story, every myth, never finding enough answers to calm that pressing urge for something _different_.

As he worked his way through college, Jensen learned to channel the feeling, hold it back in an effort to pretend he was someone normal. It always ended the same way, though; friends, boyfriends, anyone who got close. Eventually, Jensen would ask too many questions -- or get all the answers there were -- and he’d be stuck with the cold, lonely reality once more.

In the end, it was maybe mostly that, that helped him decide on a thesis project. Most history majors chose time periods, things with official facts and data and documented truths. Jensen, however, chose an island -- the Tetepare Island -- that was rumored to be home to some type of wild... jungle man.

Mostly it was folklore -- tourists would return from viewing the long-since-abandoned island and insist they’d seen some golden-skinned beast of a man running through the trees. That was actually how Jensen learned of the myth in the first place. His history teacher had a natural obsession with the potentially untrue as well, and he’d taken to Jensen immediately, sharing every haunted piece of history he could. When Jensen had confessed his urge to get away to write his thesis, to do something _different_ , the man had been quick to speak of a trip his wife and he had taken the year before.

The idea alone made Jensen’s pulse race with excitement. He supposed if he had a therapist -- or a couple friends who knew his life story -- they would tell him obsessing over the idea of there being more in the world than everyday life was some cry for help from his long-suffering inner child. Jensen simply thought there _had_ to be more than an eight-to-five job, five days a week, a white picket fence and two point five kids, whatever was the normal life to have.

So he didn’t hesitate in giving up his apartment, storing his things in a storage locker and hopping on a plane to fly halfway across the world. All in all, the journey took nearly twenty hours, and by the time Jensen was watching the approaching island with widening eyes, it felt like he’d stepped into another world. He made a deal with the tour guide he’d paid to take him to the island that involved bringing some supplies once a week on his tours.

Jensen didn’t set a timeline for going home, mainly because he went into the entire experience _believing_ there was something -- someone -- to be found among the mess of trees and vines.

It took the rest of the afternoon sunlight on the first day to find a suitable place to set up camp. The clearing actually looked made for him, enough space for a fire pit and tent, the large trees providing enough shade that he could stay outside in the summer heat and not fry, and not a far walk to a stream where he’d find fresh water. Jensen had lived alone for the better part of the last five years but being in the jungle as the sun set and the swell of noise grew -- animals, birds, things Jensen couldn’t identify -- was something he’d never known.

Jensen wasn’t as scared as he thought he’d be, though the dangers were plenty, he was sure. Behind the safety of his tent, it was easy to imagine he was simply at home, lying on his bed, daydreaming a world where the most challenging issues were what type of fruit to eat first. If Jensen hadn’t already known, he would have guessed there was really no part of him built to live in the normal world.

The next day was more investigating of scenery than anything else. He had some food -- dry goods that could be eaten from a package -- but his teacher had suggested a handful of books that helped identify local herbs and fruits safe to eat. So he’d emptied his pack in his tent and set out to gather enough supplies to last him awhile. He wasn’t certain how to cover the protein part of his diet but he knew he had enough to get by -- even if he lost some weight.

Of course, as he moved, he couldn’t help looking up, scanning the trees, hoping to catch a glimpse of the mythological jungle man. The summer between his freshman and sophomore year in college, he’d spent two months camping in woods on the East Coast, hoping to catch sight of some type of bigfoot creature. When it never happened, he’d been more than a little disappointed, but Jensen still held high hopes for the jungle man.

Day number two, it rained, from the moment he woke until later that night when he finally gave in to sleep. Jensen wasn’t foolish enough to try and navigate the jungle area during the downpour, because catching some type of sickness in less than forty-eight hours would be soul-crushing.

Thankfully, the third morning, he woke to bright sunshine and a never-ending cacophony of animal sounds. Outside of birds, bugs and various amphibians, Jensen hadn’t seen any of the animals he knew populated the jungle. Jensen was looking forward to that -- his first encounter with a monkey or something -- but he wasn’t sure when or if it would happen.

Jensen headed to the stream with the intention to catch fish. It was next to impossible for him to have the patience for it when he had an actual fishing pole and bait -- so working with the pole he’d fashioned out of a long branch, twine and a hook, he didn’t have any luck. Regardless, Jensen spent the better part of the morning trying to catch _anything_ he might be able to cook and eat.

Finally, when his stomach was protesting its displeasure at his lack of food, Jensen filled up his canteens and trudged back to his camp. Something was different, though it took him a while to figure it out. The zipper on his tent was half up and a few of his books had been shifted around, tiny little things Jensen maybe wouldn’t have noticed if he wasn’t _hoping_ for something.

That night, he laid beneath his sleeping bag and strained his hearing, heart rate picking up at every shuffle of foliage or snap of a twig. Even as his eyes grew heavy, he fought to keep them open, thinking if he could just wait a little longer, he’d find what he was looking for.

The following morning, he climbed out of his tent to find five fish tied to his pole, hanging beside the fire pit. Jensen stared, fingers twisting together slowly before he lifted his gaze and slowly looked around. It was the closest he’d ever come to learning that one of his beloved stories was true. Jensen couldn’t help grinning as he stepped forward, dragging a finger down the still slightly damp fish.

He built a fire then gutted the fish, cutting them up as his dad used to do whenever their family went camping when he was still a kid. Sorting through the herbs, he once more let his gaze roam over the trees, desperately searching for a color that offset the constant swirls of green.

Later -- after he’d cooked two of the fish, eating one and setting the other along one of the large rocks he’d used to make the fire pit -- Jensen carried one of the buckets he’d brought down to the river. It likely took less than ten minutes to bring the water back and still he’d missed it -- missed _him_ \-- because the fish was gone as he’d been hoping it would, and Jensen couldn’t help grinning.

“You’re welcome,” he called out softly, laughing and carrying the bucket to the remaining fish to keep them cool. For a final time, he glanced up and looked around, the smile soft on his lips. “And thank you for the fish.”

There wasn’t an answer but Jensen was absolutely certain this was progress. And he’d never felt more hopeful.

-=-=-=-

The days on Tetepare island had a way of flying by, though Jensen didn’t do a lot outside of walking -- and maybe a fair bit of reading. He tried to gather information about the jungle man but considering he’d yet to see him, he didn’t have much to go on. What he did learn, however, was that the jungle man had to exist. There was no denying it, unless by some cruel, cruel joke, someone was fucking with him.

On quite a few occasions, Jensen would wake to the gentle sound of popping wood, opening the tent to find the fire already going. Other times, he’d return from a walk and the bucket of water he’d previously drained would be full once more. Jensen didn’t travel too far into the jungle -- far too concerned about getting lost -- so his food supply was limited to his small radius.

Which was how he learned the jungle man apparently had no problem traveling across the island. Jensen found different fruits, herbs, vegetables he’d never seen, waiting for him. Sometimes in the morning, sometimes after he returned from cleaning up in the stream, usually with fish or the occasional chunk of meat. Jensen didn’t know what animal it was from but he decided beggars couldn’t be choosers and he never pushed something given as a gift away.

Jensen was fascinated, more than a little, and most evenings he spent sitting out on the rocks and reading, occasionally looking at the leftover food and hoping the jungle man would come out of hiding to claim it. But he never pushed, never went further than glancing around with hope, because he couldn’t imagine what a man would be like growing up in a jungle without knowledge of other humans. Oh, the questions Jensen would ask if he ever met the man -- and if the man happened to speak English.

His hopes were high that the man would be able to communicate in some way. He at least seemed to understand that Jensen appreciated the gifts of food he left, and when Jensen set out the remaining, he took it. Sometime during the second week, Jensen left out one of the books he’d brought to identify local fruits and plants, curious to see if the man would be interested in the pictures he saw there.

It took a serious amount of patience to walk far away from the camp when all he wanted to do was crouch down and wait. Jensen had a pretty good feeling that the jungle man would know if he were around, he seemed to be able to creep into the camp and light a fire without waking Jensen, and that was pretty impressive.

Later that afternoon when he returned, the book was closed, and on it rested a strand of shells. Jensen lifted it slowly, fingers sliding over the neatly cleaned shells, ghosting across the knot on the tie. He wasn’t sure what big discovery he’d just made but it felt important, and Jensen smiled as he looked up, turned in a slow circle to scan the trees, then settled in to make dinner.

If this was all the contact he had for his entire trip, it would be enough, like catching that one glimpse of bigfoot or something; enough verification for him at least. And then, he’d have a reason to come back.

-=-=-=-

Jensen was only aware that time had shifted to his third week because he’d reached the number seven once more. Every seventh day, he trekked down to the beach, meeting the tour guide and collecting the small gathering of supplies. It was simple things: different spices, a fresh blade, and this time, a bar of chocolate. Jensen was pretty excited about the chocolate -- or at least, the idea of _sharing_ it.

He stored his pack under some bushes as the tour guide turned and set off to the mainland once more. For the most part, Jensen washed off in the stream -- now that he didn’t have to worry about fishing and scaring them off, thanks to the jungle man -- but he used these weekly trips to the beach to clean his entire self.

There was certainly something thrilling about stripping on the beach and running into the ocean -- always moving quickly to keep from registering the initial chill. The water was refreshing and crisp and Jensen couldn’t resist diving under, kicking out a little ways before rising to the surface again. He was a decent enough swimmer to move away from the shore but always stayed close enough to avoid the pull of the tide.

-=-=-=-

It was a bad day for the stranger to go into the ocean. The tide was out and the poisons were there. Jared crept out from behind the last of the huge, shining green leaves and blinked up at the bright sunlight. When his eyes adjusted, Jared crouched low to the ground and leveled his gaze on the almost still surface of the water around the floating stranger.

He saw the poisons but the stranger wasn’t moving. Standing, Jared kept his gaze trained on the poisons as he shed his cloth. He sighed; it was going toward the stranger and the stranger wasn’t moving. Breaking into a run, Jared flew down the sandy beach and hit the water at full speed. With his long legs, he was able to run out quite far before he threw his arms in the air and dove into the water.

Jensen spun in the water just in time to see sun-golden skin -- seemingly miles of it -- and a sweeping mass of dark brown hair. The air whooshed out of him with the swell of his shock and he couldn’t move, frozen in the water as the man moved toward him. He had no idea what to expect, or why _now_ of all times the man was coming for him, but his heart was already speeding up with anticipation, eyes darting across the water to determine where the man would resurface.

Jared surfaced just before the poisons and snatched at the tail end. Spinning it in a circle, he threw it as far as he could out to sea. It wouldn’t come back; poisons were more scared of him.

His eyes widened when he realized he was floating only a few inches away from the stranger. Lowering his gaze slowly, he stared into the man’s leaf eyes for a few moments. Jared wanted to touch the strange marks on the man’s face, the ones that weren’t washing off in the sea.

“Hi,” Jensen whispered, his voice laced with shock. After all, the man had just sprung out of nowhere, ran and swam toward him, then snatched some black and white snake out of the water and thrown it almost half the length of a football field. And, to top it all off, the man was kind of... _gorgeous_. His skin was deeply tanned, shoulders broad and strong, floating just above the water surface, eyes just slightly curious but guarded more than anything else. Jensen couldn’t really get himself to stop looking, tracing over the scruff covering a strong jaw, over high cheekbones and a strong brow.

Not moving, Jensen swallowed thickly, kicking his legs softly to stay afloat.

“Thank you,” he murmured, wondering where all the questions had gone that he had planned on asking.

As soon as the stranger made words, Jared flung his arms out to the side, twisted and dove under the water. He didn’t break the surface again until he brushed the bottom of the sea with his fingers. With one quick shake of his hair, he broke into a run, stooped to catch his cloth and dove into the thick undergrowth.

Jensen stared wide-eyed at the beach, watching the bare form of the man until he disappeared. He was maybe more in shock than he had been before. Until he recalled the creature the man had thrown and the possibility of others being near.

Pushing forward, Jensen swam to the shore and slowly climbed out, shaking off then grabbing his clothes. His heart was still racing, his stomach churning with nerves, but he couldn’t help a slow smile. After all, he’d just _seen_ the jungle man, been rescued by him, and Jensen was more giddy than he’d openly admit to.

-=-=-=-

The fire felt good against Jensen’s still slightly damp skin. That was the downside to ocean baths, he supposed, putting on clothes that got wet and struggled to dry in the later afternoon when the trees shaded Jensen’s camp.

Every part of him was tempted to scan the trees, look around hopefully, maybe even call out to the man but he didn’t want to push things. Jensen continued to remind himself that this man may never have seen a human before -- or at least, not that he remembered -- and Jensen was crowding into his home, pushing limits.

Jensen tugged his shirt off and draped it over his tent before taking a seat on the rock once more, pulling up his pack to sort through his new supplies. The herbs were different from the ones the man had brought so far, ones Jensen thought he could use to cook and share. Then there was the chocolate; Jensen couldn’t resist opening the foil wrapper and breaking off a piece, moaning at the sugary taste on his tongue.

There were often things in the stranger’s foods that smelled different, but most of the time, Jared wasn’t close enough to tell. But this time, he’d followed the stranger back from the sea -- partly to make sure he didn’t find any more poisons, but also because he was even more curious now he’d seen him up close.

Creeping along the side of the man’s shelter, Jared sniffed the air quietly. He froze when the man made a noise. It was happy; something pleased him. And if Jared leaned forward slightly, he could _just_ see around the side of the shelter. The man had food he liked, and not food Jared had brought him.

As Jensen folded the foil back over the chocolate and set it to the side, a noise behind him had him tensing. Oddly enough, he didn’t have to turn around to know it was the man. No animal would be coming toward him, not when there was a fire before him. He was scared to move, scared to cause the man to scamper off once more, but he couldn’t resist turning slowly.

Out of the water, Jensen could see the man’s body better. He was all muscle, chest so shapely sculpted that Jensen had a moment’s disbelief that he could be real. He was a natural sort of thin; the kind that spoke of a life of work, and really that shouldn’t surprise Jensen. Of course all this man would know was work, for his shelter, his food, and whatever else.

Reaching out, he took the chocolate once more, breaking off a piece and slowly extending it out. Jensen bit off the words forming on his tongue, focusing his energy on not shaking with excitement. _This was amazing_.

Jared shifted forward slightly, stretching out his arm. His arms were long, but the stranger wasn’t holding the food out very far. Huffing softly, Jared pulled back behind the shelter for a few moments and then looked around again. The stranger seemed to like the dark food and Jared wanted to share.

Frowning, he shoved his hair back out of his eyes and knelt down on one knee. Leaning further around the edge of the shelter, Jared stretched as far as he could and managed to snatch the food from the stranger’s fingers.

Jensen had to bite his lip to keep from exploding in a bright grin. It was mind-spinning to have this confirmation, to know for sure that this man -- this _myth_ \-- was true. It was a little like learning all his life of dreams and wishes could come true. When the man simply sniffed at the candy, Jensen laughed softly and shook his head. “Try it. Chocolate. It’s good.”

The stranger’s eyes smiled and Jared simply stared at them as he held the food. He kept his eyes locked on the stranger as he brought the food up to his nose and sniffed it again. It smelled a little like fruits bit bitter like the sap and Jared snorted softly and rubbed at his nose.

Crouching down, Jared shifted closer to the fire -- food still in his palm. The fire danced in the man’s leaf eyes and Jared brought the food up to his lips slowly.

There was really something remarkable about the way the man moved, like an animal in some ways but more effectively, as if he knew exactly how to hold himself as a creature unique in this jungle. The questions that had vanished from Jensen before rose up in him now but he swallowed them down, nodding in encouragement instead. “There you go, just a little bite. It’ll be good.”

Jared pressed his palm flat against his mouth and put all the food in. His lashes fluttered. It was more sweet than fruit and he opened his mouth quickly, letting it fall back onto his hand. Licking his lips, Jared felt his cheeks get hot as the stranger stared at him.

This time, Jensen couldn’t help laughing louder, shifting back slightly so he didn’t have to turn so much to see the man.

“Too sweet? Maybe it’s an acquired taste.” Jensen’s smile fell slightly at the words. He was probably missing conversation, talking to this man so easily, as if he knew what Jensen was saying. “Water?” Jensen suggested, offering up the canteen next.

Closing his fingers around the food, Jared reached out with his other hand and took the water. He’d filled the water for the stranger sometimes. It gave him something to do at night while he was watching over him. Lifting the water to his lips, Jared took a few swallows and felt the water falling down against his chest.

He shuffled closer and held the water out.

Jensen reached out, purposefully holding back a couple inches just to get the man to inch a tiny bit closer. He was shifting through waves of rising excitement; just the idea of having the man here with him enough to make him giddy.

“My name is Jensen,” he said softly, setting the canteen down and touching his chest. “Jensen. Do you have a name?” He pointed toward the man with a hopeful smile.

Jared flinched back slightly as the man took the water. When he went to put his hand down for balance, he remembered the food and opened his palm, but it was watering. He’d never seen food do that, almost like the jellyfish on the beach.

Eyes still locked on the stranger. _Jensen_. Jared’s tongue flicked out to lap at the food on his hand. Even though it was still too sweet, Jared smiled slightly and licked most of it off. It tasted a little differently watering. When there was just a little bit left on his hand, Jared shuffled forward once more and held out his hand. When _Jensen_ didn’t move, Jared shook his hand slightly and nodded. He would share back.

Lips pursing around a smile, Jensen’s head tilted to the side in slight confusion. He glanced down at the man’s hand then back up at him.

“Do you... want more?” he suggested, not sure if he should reach out for more or not. It seemed like a friendly gesture, whatever the man was going for, so Jensen kept the smile on his face and waited.

Jared watched the man’s lips as he said words, tilting his head slightly to the side. His eyes were good, sparkling, and Jared liked them. He shifted closer again and held up his hand to _Jensen’s_ mouth.

“Oh,” Jensen whispered, blinking a few times and tilting back slightly. But the man looked so... excited, or eager, or something. And Jensen didn’t want to scare him off again, not when he’d made so much progress. His eyes slid down to the lump of melted chocolate on the man’s palm and he tried not to consider what all the man might have touched with these hands.

Swallowing thickly, Jensen gave the man a small smile then curled his fingers along the top of his hand. One final deep breath, he closed his eyes and tentatively licked once along the melted chocolate. This was definitely the weirdest thing he’d ever done, and he kind of wanted to explode in a giddy fit of laughter.

Jared snatched his hand back instantly. As soon as the man’s fingers had touched him, it was like being covered in fire ants; all tingly, nipping and strange. Falling back hard on his butt, he stared at the food watering in his hand and then back at _Jensen_. The lick made his body warm and heavy like when he was tired and trying to wade through deep water.

“You’re...” Jensen laughed softly, shaking his head in disbelief. He didn’t know if the man understood what he was saying but just in case, he kept the word _adorable_ from falling from his lips. “Do you understand me?” he asked quietly, speaking slower than usual.

Jared remembered words from when he was small. He could still hum parts of the singing his mother used to do each night. Jensen’s words were different, thicker, deeper, and Jared could almost feel them. Lifting his palm to his lips, Jared licked at the food some more, sniffed it, then nodded slightly.

Grinning, Jensen shifted forward, freezing when it caused the man to stiffen.

“It’s okay; I promise I won’t hurt you.” He held up his hands and shifted a little closer. “Do you have a name? Something I can call you?” Jensen nearly laughed once more, imagining the man making some animal sound as a name. There was a possibility he was far too excited for this.

Jared wiped his palm on the dirt beside him, looked up at Jensen and then shot off into the thick undergrowth.

“Wait!” Jensen jumped up but it was too late; the man was gone, disappeared in the trees, and there was no way Jensen would be fast enough to catch him. Shaking his head, Jensen laughed softly and dropped back down by the fire, reaching out for his notebook and pen to write down every single detail of the encounter.

It only took Jared a few moments to get to where he’d hidden his things. Unwrapping the precious items, he looked at them and then picked one out, and hurried back to Jensen. He crept back along the side of the shelter and peered at Jensen for a few moments before stepped out. Jensen jumped and Jared smiled; the stranger didn’t use his eyes and ears well.

Pacing over, Jared dropped and held out one of his treasures.

“You’re back,” Jensen murmured and smiled at the man then glanced at the object he was holding out. It was a silver heart, clutched between the man’s fingers, and Jensen slowly reached out to take it. He watched as the man drew his hand back and touched his chest then looked down at the heart once more.

It was a locket, opening slowly and slightly stiff under his fingers. One side had a faded picture, the vague image of a little boy barely remaining on the portrait. The other side had a name inscribed on it, _Jared_.

Gaze shooting up, Jensen watched as the man touched the locket then his chest once more.

“Jared?” he asked quietly, thumb sliding across the name on the locket. “Your name is Jared?”

Licking his lips, Jared nodded.

“Jared,” he repeated softly. Jensen didn’t say it the way Mama had but it was right. His own voice always sounded strange; unlike the way the island visitors spoke. They always used words that Jared couldn’t understand. _Jensen’s_ words were the same.

Taking another step forward, Jared crouched down and slid his hand over Jensen’s leg while the man was looking at his treasure. He wanted to know if the fiery feeling would come back. It wasn’t the same as touching _Jensen’s_ skin but Jared liked the way he felt.

When Jensen looked up, Jared was so much closer and his smile softened. It was obvious the man was curious, nervous maybe, but Jensen liked to believe he had proven he was an okay guy over the last few weeks.

“I like that, Jared; it’s a good name.” He wasn’t sure where to start with all his questions, didn’t want to overload the man. “Can you say mine? Jensen. Or Jen, if that’s easier.”

Jared knelt up, hands sliding up Jensen’s leg to his belly. His skin was soft and Jared pulled his hand back quickly as soon as his body felt strange again. Peering up at Jensen from under his lashes, Jared tilted his head defiantly and pressed his palm flat against Jensen’s chest.

Closing his eyes for a few moments, Jared enjoyed the feeling that ran through him. He knew the feeling; knew the creeping heat and the strange twisting deep inside him.

“Jen,” he said. His throat felt tight and Jared grabbed Jensen’s hand. He wanted the stranger to touch him, make his throat feel warm. Tugging on the man’s hand, Jared leaned in until Jensen’s fingers were touching him.

All the air caught in Jensen’s chest, mainly because the way this man moved was so... intense. As if he threw himself into every action, or he so desperately wanted to express his thoughts but didn’t know how. Jensen shifted slightly forward, eyes fixing on the place his fingers rested on the golden-tanned skin.

“Does it hurt? To speak?” he asked quietly, letting his fingers gently shift and rub along the man’s surprisingly smooth skin.

Jared let out a small sound, contented, and sank against Jensen’s side. He’d seen the other animals curl up next to each other, the apes, even the tiny monitors, and he knew why -- it was warm and sent those strange sparking feelings through him.

Turning his face toward Jensen’s chest, Jared breathed in. Jensen smelled different. He smelled of the ocean he’d been in, but there were other smells on him. Jared looked up slowly, stealing a glance at Jensen before turning back down and moving his palm slightly on the other man’s chest.

“Um, okay,” Jensen said softly, laughing at the sudden cuddly man pressing against him. Except the likely completely innocent touching was hard to continue seeing that way because Jensen was a gay man, Jared was gorgeous, and it had been a while. He didn’t think Jared saw anything sexual with his touches -- for all Jensen knew, the man had the mind of a child or something.

It all made for a pretty conflicting wave of feelings through him and Jensen laid his hand over the wide spread of Jared’s fingers on his chest, stopping the slow rub.

“Jared, are you by yourself? Are there others like you or me here?” He didn’t pull away, like he should, because he thought of Jared being all alone and how much he had to miss touch. If he’d even ever known it before.

Turning his head again, Jared looked up at Jensen for a few moments and then slid his tongue out to lick at the brown spots on the man’s chest.

“Uh…” Jensen sat back slightly, turning wide eyes down to where Jared was just… licking him. “Jared? You… you shouldn’t do that.” Laying his hands on the man’s shoulder, he pushed him back slightly, giving him a warm smile. “Licking someone is kind of… intimate.” When Jared just stared at him longer, Jensen rubbed along his neck. “For lovers. Lovers? Do you understand what that means?”

Frowning, Jared pulled back and shook his head. Sighing, he wiped his hand on the ground and stood. The fire was going to die and Jensen wasn’t watching it. Padding over, Jared picked up some of the wood he’d left earlier and dropped it onto the flames. He sat down on the other side of the fire with a loud sigh.

“I didn’t mean you had to go away,” Jensen said quietly, trying to stop himself from talking more when the words might not even make sense to Jared. “Lovers are like, like... mates. You know what mates are, right?” He smiled hopefully at Jared. If anything, he could possibly gain a better understanding of what Jared knew. There had to be a way to progress things in their communication.

Jared squinted as he peered through the flames, then after a few moments, he nodded. He knew what mates were, he knew how the animals paired off with others like themselves. But this was the first time Jared had really seen someone the same as him; someone pale, someone who used the same words; someone with green leaf eyes.

“Thank you,” Jared said softly.

“For... never mind.” Jensen laughed the words softly as he shook his head. It was probably better not to keep asking questions when Jared couldn’t answer. “Okay, so you know mates, they’re... well,” Jensen hummed for a moment, not sure how to explain things when he didn’t know what Jared understood. “Okay, Jared, do you understand how mates can be... physical? With each other?”

“I know mates,” Jared said softly. Confused, Jared rubbed at his eyes and stood. He could feel the cool turn in the air, the night wind. “Dark, night,” he said across the fire. Fire sparks were in Jensen’s leaf eyes and Jared smiled slightly. Taking a few steps back, he lifted his hand in a small wave.

“You’re leaving?” Jensen stood again, turning slightly to look up at the sky. He could see dark clouds starting to move across the sky and he guessed they’d cover up any remaining sunlight soon. Turning back, Jared was already gone and Jensen was once more alone in the clearing.

Shaking his head, Jensen smiled down at the ground before moving over to the bucket to gather some fish to cook before night could fall. Maybe this was progress, maybe Jared would be back again soon. Whatever ended up happening, Jensen knew he wouldn’t be leaving any time soon.

-=-=-=-

Jensen woke to something wet and cold splashing over his face and he blinked in confusion, twisting under the material pressing down on him. It took him a few long minutes to realize what was happening, what the whooshing sound he heard was. It was the middle of the night and the storm that had blown in, had somehow knocked down his tent. Jensen was currently caught underneath it, completely drenched, and possibly, completely screwed.

Then he felt the brush of something warm and he blinked a few more times before clenching his eyes shut as the tent was moved off him and rain pelted his face. Strong hands were lifting him and Jensen forced his eyes open, blinking until he could see the form of the man there.

“Jared?” he called over the gush of wind, stumbling a few steps forward until he crushed into the man’s chest, shivering under the chill of his soaked clothes.

Jared wrapped his arm around Jensen and pulled him the rest of the way from the shelter. The wind was biting at his bare skin, sending sharp darts of water onto his back.

“Come now; bring things,” he said over the wind. Hair plastered to his face, he leaned down and grabbed the small bag that Jensen carried with him. “More?”

“Y-yeah, I-” Jensen turned, eyes scanning the ground as he tried to look over his things. His books were probably ruined so he didn’t bother gathering them up. A quick search through the tent and he was grasping his pillowcase, tugging it up and feeling along the material to ensure a few of his more precious possessions were still inside. He straightened up and turned to Jared, nodding. “Okay, where do we go?”

“Come.” Jared grabbed the pillowcase, slung it over his shoulder and then grabbed Jensen’s hand. He could feel how cold the man was; he would get sick if Jared didn’t warm him. Pulling Jensen, urging him on, Jared took the barely noticeable path to higher ground.

He’d been through many storms, often in the middle of the night, and he’d been preparing. It was fast, though, and Jared was surprised. His first thought had been for Jensen and he had raced down.

Now, dragging and tugging the man up the side of the small hill near his shelter, Jared felt calmer. He had Jensen and could get him safe.

“Come,” he yelled again. The wind was roaring in their ears and when Jensen stumbled once more, Jared slipped his arm under the shorter man’s shoulders and helped him up the steep part of the incline. “Close,” he said against Jensen’s ear.

A shudder shook down Jensen’s spine, whether from the chilly rain still spraying his frozen body or the surprising warmth of Jared’s words he wasn’t sure. He had no idea where they were going but he trusted Jared, without question, which was likely odd but Jensen couldn’t see a reason why the man would want to cause him harm. After all, he lived outside the normal world; he was a different breed of pure and innocent.

The ground beneath Jensen’s feet shifted and his leg twisted, arms clutching tightly around Jared until he was sure he wasn’t about to slip and tumble back down the incline. He turned wide eyes up at Jared, shivering and pressing closer.

“Is okay,” Jared said. He curled his arm tighter beneath Jensen’s shoulders and helped him over one of the larger trees that had fallen. The smaller man wasn’t as good as Jared at climbing, but Jared was sure he could teach him.

He took a quick look around, getting his bearings and headed into the undergrowth. When Jensen stumbled again, Jared turned quickly and grabbed his arm tightly, bent at the waist and threw the unsteady man over his shoulder.

Something close to a squeak fell from Jensen’s lips as his body tilted downward, eyes suddenly fixed on the ground. Jared was apparently ridiculously strong, and if Jensen wasn’t absolutely frozen, he probably would have put up some kind of fight, considering how easily Jared manhandled him. Instead, he just laid his palms flat on Jared’s back, closing his eyes to keep from getting dizzy at the unusual angle.

Finally, Jared could see the light from the fire at the front of the cave. Moving swiftly, he set Jensen back down just under the rock overhang. “Good? Stay here.”

His fingers wove through Jensen’s and he tugged the shorter man into the dry, dusty warmth of the cave. Stepping around the fire carefully, Jared pointed up so Jensen could see that the smoke was leaving through a small crack in the cave roof.

“Safe,” he murmured.

Jensen looked around the cave with wide eyes, glancing up as Jared had pointed then back down, around the walls, over to the lanky man.

“This is your home?” he asked quietly, sliding his arms over his chest and rubbing over the still-dripping material of his shirt. “You live here?” he asked once more, trying to see past the ring of light from the fire to see if the cave was any bigger or if his eyes were just playing tricks on him.

“Safe for rains,” Jared said quietly. He set Jensen’s things down close to the fire so they would dry and stepped in. Curling his fingers under the bottom of the shivering man’s shirt, he lifted it and pulled it off when Jensen finally lifted his arms. “Too cold and wet,” he murmured.

“It is,” Jensen nodded, stepping toward Jared once the big man had tugged off his shirt. He couldn’t help seeking out the heat; he was fairly sure he’d never been this cold in his life. “I see you’ve got your voice to work some more; that’s nice to hear.” He rubbed his hand along his arm, smiling slightly up at Jared. “Thank you for rescuing me. Again.”

Jared threw the shirt on the ground and pulled Jensen further into the cave. Over the years on the island, he’d picked up some of the discarded items the _others_ had left behind. Pulling a blanket out of a pile of things where he slept, Jared walked over and wrapped it around Jensen.

He rubbed his hands over the blanket, trying to warm Jensen. “Better?”

Something in Jensen’s chest fluttered and he nodded slowly, smiling softly up at Jared.

“You must be cold too.” Jensen clutched the edges of the blanket, waiting for a moment before stepping forward and throwing his arms around Jared’s shoulders, pulling the blanket around them. He was anticipating the big man fleeing, or scampering to the other side of the cave, but he’d take what heat he could from it now.

It felt strange, at first, to be so close -- to be so _not_ alone. But the tingles bit at Jared’s body again, at his chest, his skin, and he pulled Jensen close against him.

“Warm,” he said against the shorter man’s hair. He didn’t feel so much like a _stranger_ anymore.

“Yeah, warm,” Jensen agreed softly, laying his head on Jared’s shoulder. He might have tried to tell anyone who asked that this was all for practical reasons -- they were both rain-soaked and frozen and body heat was one of the fastest ways to warm up. But Jensen couldn’t deny his physical attraction to the man, just like he couldn’t deny how much he was craving touch. And maybe Jared’s touch specifically. Or something.

“Don’t get sick,” Jared admonished. “Come.” Pulling on Jensen, Jared moved him closer to the small fire and pressed him down toward the bed of leaves he had set up around the fire. “Sit here.”

When Jensen finally sat down, Jared untangled himself from the blanket and headed over to where he slept. Dragging it forward, he pulled it all as close to the fire as possible. He knew that his things were different from Jensen’s but he would share, keep him warm. He would keep him safe.

Jensen smiled slightly at the fashioned bed Jared pulled over. It looked like a strange collection of items: blankets, woven mats, moss. It actually looked relatively comfortable. Hesitating for just a moment, Jensen pushed off his wet sweat pants, kicking them and his shoes and socks out of the way.

His eyes lifted to Jared, studying the man for a moment. “Will you feel… uncomfortable, if I undress completely?” The tall man looked at him and Jensen held the blanket back to point at his boxers. “My clothes are wet; sleeping in wet clothes doesn’t sound very fun.”

“All off,” Jared agreed. Moving some more of his things aside, he stopped by the fire and untied his cloth and let it fall. “Thirsty? There is... food.” He tried to pull back all the words he remembered from the time with his mother. There were times when he was certain he could hear the sound of her voice calling his name.

“Thirsty,” Jensen whispered, eyes lingering far too long on Jared’s bare body. When the big man moved, Jensen managed to force his gaze away, shifting until he could push his boxers off. He clutched the blanket tighter around himself, shivering and sliding toward the fire. “Jared? Thank you. Seriously, I could have died out there.” Jensen smiled at him, hoping he’d hear the true sincerity in his words.

Smiling shyly, Jared nodded as he slipped around the fire and disappeared outside into the rain. Returning moments later, he was carrying a coconut shell filled with water. Crouching down in front of Jensen, he held it out. “Rain, drink.”

“You didn’t have to get all wet again on my account,” Jensen laughed softly and kept his eyes fixed on the man’s strong jawline because... he was still naked. And Jensen was still very gay. “But, um, thanks.” He reached out for the coconut, sipping slowly from the cool liquid. “It’s a little sweet,” he murmured, looking up at Jared with the same smile.

Jared stretched and rubbed his hand across his chest. It had been a long night moving everything into the shelter of the rock, and then he had been so worried about Jensen. Even though he’d had much time watching the _others_ , he had no idea what other things that Jensen might be needing.

Bending, he picked up some of the smaller fruits that he had found earlier in the day and piled them next to the bed. The chill of the night was still filtering in past the fire and Jared stepped over Jensen and settled down onto the bed.

Glancing down at the fruit, Jensen’s smile was interrupted by a yawn. He was starting to warm up some and exhaustion was creeping through him. Reaching out, he set the coconut down slowly then shifted back onto the pad of leaves, looking over at Jared. “You’re probably not near as cold as I am, huh?” Jensen laughed softly and looked around. “Where... should I sleep?”

 _God_ , he’d give anything to wrap up in the blankets and Jared’s arms, because he could still hear rain pouring outside the cave and his skin still felt too cool, too damp.

“Here,” Jared said softly. His brow furrowed and he held out his hand; why not be warm together? Frowning, Jared remembered some of the words Jensen had said earlier. “Not mates. I know.” Pushing back the covers, he motioned for Jensen to get in close to him.

“What? No, no, Jared, that’s not what…” Jensen sighed shakily, giving the taller man a brief smile before sliding in close under the covers. He laid on his side facing Jared, letting his hand slowly come to rest over Jared’s chest. “Okay, we’re not mates, you’re right. But that doesn’t mean I’m not attracted to you. Do you understand what that means? That I’m attracted to you?” Jensen couldn’t believe he was having this conversation; this wasn’t what Jared needed to hear.

Pressing his lips together, Jared frowned and shook his head slightly and smiled shyly. There were words he didn’t remember, couldn’t pull out of the mess of memories in his head. But he did know that Jensen had pushed him away earlier, said they’re weren’t mates. He understood.

“Good, I know.” He hesitated a moment and then picked up Jensen’s hand and pushed it back gently. “I know. I understand from before. You sleep.” Pushing his lips into a smile, he looked away and nestled down under the covers.

“I really don’t think you understand,” Jensen muttered as he shifted back slightly, pulling the blanket up until his head was half covered. He supposed it didn’t matter in the long run; after all, what could a man who knew nothing of the real world want with a relationship of any sort? And who was Jensen to think he had the right to destroy Jared’s innocence. “’Night Jared,” he whispered, pulling his legs up slightly to trap in more heat.

Jared could feel the blanket move and it took him a few moments to figure out that it was because Jensen was shivering. Rolling over, he tucked and arm under Jensen’s head, slid the other over his waist and pressed up against the freezing man’s back.

“Warm,” he said softly against Jensen’s ear.

That might very well be an understatement. Jared’s body was more than warm, it was smooth skin, calloused fingers, hard muscle. Jensen was instantly relaxing back against him, letting his hand fall over Jared’s.

“You know, I would be your mate,” Jensen muttered sleepily, a soft laugh falling from his lips. “Even if that makes me sound crazy.”

“Crazy,” Jared repeated. He wasn’t sure what the word meant but he liked the way it felt on his tongue. Tightening his arms around Jensen’s body, Jared nuzzled against the shorter man’s neck. The scent of him was sweet and good, his skin soft and smooth like the stones from the river bottom. “Nice,” he whispered.

“It is,” Jensen agreed with an exhaled breath. He couldn’t get over how endearing Jared’s words were, slightly curious, cautious maybe; his voice gently rasping as if he hadn’t spoken aloud in years. Which, Jensen figured, was probably the case.

Twisting slightly, Jensen tilted his head up toward Jared and shifted forward, brushing their lips gently together. He smiled up at Jared, curling his fingers over Jared’s hand still around his waist.

“That’s a kiss. Humans, lovers, like mates, you know? They kiss. More than licking. Well, uh,” Jensen trailed off with a laugh. _Way_ too complicated to explain right then.

Jared pulled back slightly as his skin tingled just like his lips. His lashes fluttered a few times, like in the bright light in the morning, and he pulled his hand back to rub at the buzzing across his lips. Jensen’s eyes were darker, thin, dark green circles around black.

Dropping his hand again, he rolled Jensen toward him.

“More,” he urged quietly.

“More,” Jensen repeated, his heart quickening at the thought alone. He was relieved that the brief kiss hadn’t freaked Jared out, and curious as to what he was thinking and feeling, but he pushed all those thoughts aside for the moment.

Turning in Jared’s arms, Jensen let their chests press together and slid his fingers up through the rough stubble along Jared’s jaw, back through his long hair. He drew the bigger man forward and let their lips come together once more, this time moving into the kiss, gently shifting his lips against Jared’s to see how he might respond.

Jared found it a little hard to breathe; his body was trying to gasp out air at the same time as he was trying to drag it into his lungs. Curling his fingers hard into Jensen’s body, he felt the smaller man shivering still and rolled forward to cover him.

When their lips parted, Jared let out a small moan. His body shook and he could feel himself harden. Usually it was dreams, mornings -- but Jensen’s body was soft and hard at the same time.

“Sorry,” Jared whispered. His cheeks felt like they were burning and he tried to shift away.

“Wait.” Jensen half moaned the request, gripping Jared’s arms to keep him from moving away. He could feel the hard press of Jared’s arousal and it made his skin spark, anticipation crawling thickly up through him. “Good. It’s good, Jared. See?” He bit his lip and purposefully moved his hips up so his own arousal would move along Jared’s skin. “I like it, like you do.”

Jared rubbed at his forehead and frowned. It was all very confusing. Their bodies were warmer, their skin touching -- but Jared learned quickly -- at least, he tried.

“Not mates,” he said again softly.

“But... we could be,” Jensen whispered, his lips twitching in a hopeful smile. “Doesn’t this feel good? Don’t I feel good?” He slid his hands up Jared’s arms, back through his hair. He was starting to feel a little... perverted or something, like he was coercing this gorgeous, innocent man into something he didn’t understand. “Kissing? That felt good, right?”

Closing his eyes, Jared felt the heat burning in him again. It felt like he needed to run and stay, all too much to understand. The words were spinning around in his mind and his throat felt sore and aching.

Shaking his head, Jared pulled away, tears of frustration blurring his vision. He had no idea how to tell Jensen everything he’d thought while watching him, all the times he’s seen the _others_ , hidden from them and longed to be with them. “Thank you,” he said softly. “Sorry.”

Jensen had experience with rejection, sure; he’d lived through the awkward teenage years and he’d always been a little _unique_. Somehow, though, this felt different. Probably because Jared didn’t mean it like Jensen felt it, and really, Jensen was the one at fault here. He had no right to push these things on such a beautiful soul.

Sighing softly, Jensen rolled onto his side and nodded, blinking away the last of the heat and _want_ crawling through him.

“It’s okay, Jared, must just need sleep.” He rubbed at his chest, easing the ache growing there.

Jared sniffed, wiped roughly at his eyes and stared at Jensen’s back. He knew that the man would leave before long, like all the _others_. They came and went; sometimes, Jared would listen to them speaking, especially when they used his words.

He’d never wanted someone to stay before.

Reaching out, he pressed his palm flat against Jensen’s back and then shifted closer again.

“You make it not... not so alone.” Leaning down, he pressed his lips between Jensen’s shoulder blades. “Kiss,” he murmured. Closing his eyes, he rested his cheek against the soft skin and sighed.

Jensen wished there was more to it than what Jared said, so he could understand what went on in the man’s mind, but he didn’t even know where to begin trying to discuss this. He shifted back, reaching behind him to take Jared’s hand and loop it around his waist.

“You’re not alone now; I’m here,” he said softly, slipping his fingers through Jared’s. “I’ll be here until you tell me to go.”

“Stay?” Jared shifted a little closer. “Jared... I keep you. Keep you safe.” Smiling, Jared tugged Jensen back against his chest and nosed his way into his hair. “Sleep,” he said firmly. He would show Jensen that he could take care of him, and Jensen would want to stay, would _want_ to be his mate forever.

The smile stretched across Jensen’s lips once more and he nestled back against Jared, hand pressing into his chest.

“Yeah, sleep,” Jensen murmured, biting down on his lip. “I’ll see you in the morning.” As long as it was like this, Jensen could hold some hope, even if it meant admitting he was in over his head already.


	2. Chapter 2

When Jensen woke, he realized almost instantly that he was warm -- too warm -- and that the something hard pressing against his ass was, well... Jared. It instantly made heat flush across his body and he bit his lip, taking a moment to savor the uniqueness of this moment. After all, it wasn’t as if he got the opportunity to wake in a man’s arms very often, and certainly not a man who made him feel so… comfortably whole.

It was a little scary, to admit he felt at home in a place that was so off the map, with a man who others thought was just a legend. But really, Jensen kind of thought he was destined for this. He had to end up with a person who lived outside normality, because Jensen _knew_ how cold and harsh normal, real life was. Jared was like a bright, shining beacon, and Jensen was drawn like a moth to the flame.

The body behind him shifted and Jensen smiled softly, sliding his fingers along the other man’s arm.

“Mornin’,” he murmured, stretching his muscles out with a long arch of his body, tilting back into Jared’s tall frame.

Yawning, Jared rubbed at his eyes. _Jensen_. Shifting back slightly, he hid the fact that he was hard; trying to remind himself it was _good_ \-- at least, that’s what Jensen had said.

Lifting his hand, he locked his gaze with Jensen’s and touched a few of the brown spots on the man’s face. Rubbing a little harder, he realized they didn’t come off.

Laughing softly, Jensen ducked away from Jared’s touch and shook his head. “They’re freckles, from getting sun burned too much as a kid or something. They won’t come off.” Rolling to face him better, Jensen let his hand rest above the big man’s heart, small smile on his face. “Looks like you don’t burn, you just tan. Like some kind of supermodel.”

“Super?” Jared’s fingers moved back to Jensen’s cheeks and he slid his finger from one brown _freckles_ to the next. “Tell me more,” he said softly. “More words.”

“Probably shouldn’t encourage my talking; I can ramble.” Jensen’s heart was fluttering slightly at the touch, caught up in Jared’s curious stare. “What words don’t you know?” Face scrunching up, Jensen laughed and shook his head. “Guess that won’t work. Well, let’s start with body parts, you know what everything’s called? Eyes, ears, mouth, nose.” Jensen touched each part of Jared as he spoke, far too amused by this game.

Jared laughed and pushed Jensen’s hand away. “I know those.”

He pointed to Jensen’s lips and then ran his finger along them.

“Kiss,” he added and nodded. He had learned some things the previous evening.

“Yeah, kiss. There’s french kissing? That’s a little different. Or, um, if you kiss for a long time, that’s, I guess, making out? You probably wouldn’t know those ones.” Jensen frowned slightly, surprised by how sad he felt considering all the things Jared had likely missed out on. “Have you always lived here?”

“No.” Jared rolled away quickly and felt around in between the pieces of his bedding. Pulling out a small wrapped package, he smiled and handed it to Jensen. “Family, home and my dog. He is Harley.”

Swallowing thickly, Jensen slowly shifted up until he was sitting, untying the top of the burlap until he could see the pictures beneath. They were all worn, some water-damaged, the images in various degrees of decay. Jensen looked up at Jared and watched him nod before he pulled the images out.

The man and woman in the shot were smiling, a little boy that had to be Jared between them. The dog -- Harley -- was almost bigger than Jared in some of the images and Jensen smiled softly, tracing his finger along the torn edge of one image. “This is your mom and dad? Did they bring you here?”

“Yes, adventure. They went to heaven. Dad said -- Mama was sick for...” Jared sighed and leaned over Jensen’s body to pick up the coconut shell and take a few big gulps of water. As he put the shell back on the ground, he smiled and stayed there for a few moments. Jensen’s body was nice, warm, and Jared liked the way it felt against his belly. He slid back slowly and lay down, beside Jensen as he picked out the picture of Harley. “My dog. Harley. He’s gone to heaven.”

Emotion welled in Jensen and he bit his lip. Jared’s words sounded calm, like fact more than anything else, but Jensen couldn’t help feeling sad for him. He set the pictures to the side and nearly fell forward, sliding his arms tightly around Jared in a hug.

“You must have been so lonely,” he whispered, pressing his lips to Jared’s neck.

“Not now,” Jared said shyly. He liked the way he could nuzzle into Jensen’s hair. It was so soft and smooth, and smelled like _him_. Slipping down lower on the bed, Jared pressed his lips to Jensen’s ear. “Kiss.”

“You’ve definitely got that one down,” Jensen whispered, turning slightly to brush his lips against Jared’s. He hesitated for a moment then let his lips slant over Jared’s, deepening the kiss for a moment before slowly pulling back. “You’re a good kisser, must be a natural.”

Jared felt his eyelids get heavy like when he was sleepy but his body felt _very_ much awake. “I got that one down,” he said confidently. Licking his lips, Jared smiled at the taste of Jensen. “What is... your best word?”

 _“My best word?” Jensen murmured, trying to make sense of the pleasure humming around him. “Well, I like the word passion. Or passionate. I like the suggestion behind it. Desire is a good one. All my favorite words might be a little sexual.” Jensen laughed softly, knowing he couldn’t really deny how he felt for Jared any longer._

 _“Passion,” Jared echoed. Sliding his leg over Jensen’s, he _kissed_ the man’s bare chest. “What is _passion_ , passion... pas... sion?” Jared continued trailing his finger from one _freckle_ to the next and worked his way down Jensen’s neck._

Jensen’s eyes fluttered closed, his heart quickening as Jared focused all his attention on the touches. “You’re, uh, heading your way there,” he laughed softly and forced his eyes open, watching the rapt attention on Jared’s face. “Passion, it’s... a way you feel, when a feeling is very strong. Like-- god, how do I explain this?”

Pursing his lips, Jensen hesitated a moment longer then pushed forward. In one swift movement, he rolled Jared back onto the blanket, sliding over him and kissing him deeply. His hands slid up through Jared’s hair, his tongue slipping forward to trace Jared’s lips then slide inside as the man’s mouth opened.

Jared felt fear rise in him for a few moments. His entire body jolted as though it was suddenly burning, hands falling to the bed beneath them and gripping the old blanket. Jensen’s tongue was soft, wet and warm and Jared could hardly breath. There were sparks of heat flying through, he was sure, he thought his blood might be on fire and burning him up.

It took what felt like a long time to get Jared to work with him, his tongue gently, shyly moving against Jensen’s and Jensen couldn’t help moaning. He pulled back after a moment, panting softly and letting his forehead rest against Jared’s. “That, that is passion. When the feelings are so strong inside you, it feels like they might make you explode.”

Jared simply nodded, fingers sliding up and over Jensen’s back. With his eyes still closed, he could concentrate on _Jensen_ : the sound of him, his breathing, and the way it was so much faster than before. The scent of their bodies was mixing together and it was a new smell, a _them_ smell. Jensen’s body was warmer, heat that felt like it might burn Jared’s fingertips. “I like passion.”

“Me too,” Jensen whispered, shifting forward slightly so their bodies slid together. “I like the way you feel.” He slid his hands down Jared’s body, loving the feel of warm muscle and smooth skin. “Do you...” Sighing softly, Jensen shook his head and pulled back a little. “I’m sorry, I might be getting a little addicted to how you feel.”

“Feel,” Jared repeated. The words all made sense but in so many different ways from what Jared remembered. “I like the way you feel.”

Jared smoothed his hands up Jensen’s back, touching every part of the man. He was trying hard to remember each muscle, each perfect part of him. His body was different than Jared’s. Jensen was shorter, softer, his shoulders were narrower and his thighs were stronger.

Lips twitching into a brighter smile, Jared rolled them quickly, pinning Jensen to the soft bedding.

“Pas-sion,” he said firmly.

“Yeah,” Jensen whispered, sucking in a slow breath as he shifted under the weight of Jared. _This_ was something Jensen could very easily get used to. “Is that going to be one of your favorite words now? It’s pretty similar to something like desire, in some ways.” Jensen bit down on his lips and moved his body up into Jared’s. “Hard to think when I feel like this.”

“When you feel like passion?” Jared was having trouble with his words again. Jensen’s body was good, _hard_. “I know how,” he whispered. Sliding his hand down between their bodies, Jared curled his fingers around Jensen’s flesh. He felt the way it twitched in his hand, hot and smooth.

“ _Oh_ god, Jared.” Jensen moaned the words, arching up into the heat of Jared’s hand stroking along him. “Y-you, do you want...” It was impossible to complete any sort of sentence, let alone thought, as Jared’s calloused palm slid along his erection, his strokes surprisingly sure and strong. Hand fluttering up, Jensen drew Jared in, kissing him deeply once more.

Jared’s thoughts kind of stopped working, bogged down in the pleasing heat and buzzing that was wrapping around his body. Touching Jensen gave him the same feelings as being touched. All so strange and new, Jared pushed back from the kiss -- wanting to see Jensen’s face.

He rubbed his body against Jensen’s, sliding his aching flesh against the shorter man’s thigh and hip. His eyes were darkening and Jared stared down into them. Each time his hand moved over Jensen’s erection, the other man moaned softly, shivered and arched up off the bedding.

“Your eyes,” Jared whispered.

“Dark?” Jensen half gasped, lips twitching in a slight smile when Jared nodded. “Because... I want you. Fuck, Jared,” Jensen groaned at the teasing slide, hand hovering at his side for just a moment before he shifted and let his arm dip down. His fingers just barely brushed over Jared’s cock and Jensen bit his lip around a moan, twisting further until he could curl around the hard flesh.

Jensen just barely moved, staring up at Jared with wide eyes. He didn’t know how Jared might react to being touched like this. But as Jared’s hand dragged up again, Jensen echoed the action, wanting Jared to know it felt just as good to receive.

Gasping out a breath, Jared drew back, head tilted to the side as his lashes fluttered closed. He whimpered softly, shifted his hips forward to push closer to Jensen.

“I want- it. It feels-” Blinking a few times, Jared leaned down closer until he could breathe in every breath Jensen let out.

“It feels good, right?” Jensen whispered, rocking his body up to meet Jared’s, breathing in his air shakily. The heat of Jared’s body was addicting, pleasure burning down Jensen’s spine and he already wanted more. “Do- do you like it? My hand on you?” He had to at least make sure the taller man was completely enjoying this, because Jensen wanted to know they’d get more, soon.

Jared nodded jerkily as his fingers curled tighter around Jensen’s swollen flesh. “Aches,” he whispered. He wetted his lips, still staring down into Jensen’s eyes and watching the smaller man move below him. “Aches hard.”

A soft moan left Jensen’s lips and he dipped his head down in a slight nod. He knew that feeling of ache, the kind so good he didn’t think it would ever be enough.

“H-have you, touched yourself? Like this?” With the way Jared stroked him, Jensen wouldn’t be surprised if he had, but the last thing he wanted was the big man freaking out when he climaxed. Explaining _that_ would be a challenge.

“I know this,” Jared managed to say. Panting, he let his hips move faster; the rub was making the ache worse and he moaned softly. “Jensen...” Jared leaned his forehead against Jensen’s temple, licking shyly at the corner of his mouth. “Make it good,” he whispered. “Please...”

“God,” Jensen gasped and pushed up, slanting his mouth over Jared’s and thrusting his tongue roughly between the other man’s parted lips. He wasn’t going to last much longer, Jared’s touches and soft words were enough to make him feel a little crazy.

As the pace of his strokes increased, fingers tightening around the hard flesh, his hips arched up into Jared’s quick strokes. He could tell the tall man was just as close and he fell back from the kiss, head curving back as his hips lifted and held.

“Jared.” He moaned the name, his orgasm sparking within him, the stroke of his hand faltering as he rode out the pleasure.

Throwing his head back, Jared bit down hard on his bottom lip and groaned. He felt the ache build until it hurt, swimming through his body until it was too much. The relief of the ache was better than it had ever been and he collapsed down on Jensen’s body. His fingers slid up Jensen’s neck to grip a handful of hair as his lips pressed to the shorter man’s cheek.

Jensen lay panting under Jared until it felt like his heart had slowed. At least to the point where he didn’t feel like he was about to pass out. He couldn’t ever remember coming so hard from just touch. Apparently, being with Jared was going to change every part of his life.

“You okay?” Jensen asked softly, stroking his hand through Jared’s hair.

“Most okay,” Jared murmured against Jensen’s neck. Sliding off Jensen’s body, Jared smiled and reached behind him to pick up Jensen’s shirt. Wiping Jensen’s belly clean, Jared smiled -- the feeling of warmth still lingering in his frame.

When Jensen frowned at the mess on his shirt, Jared shrugged and threw it into the fire. “Don’t need.”

Glancing over at what was once his shirt, Jensen’s eyes widened for a moment before he looked back at Jared and laughed.

“Didn’t I mention I burn in the sun? I’ll be one giant freckle without a shirt.” Not that he’d really protest much, though the idea of wearing an animal hide cloth-type thing like Jared made him blush. “I don’t have the impressive muscles like you do,” Jensen murmured, hand running down Jared’s chest.

“You are... pretty. And -- I will take care of you,” Jared smiled when Jensen looked up at him. Jared slid back under the blanket and lay on his side staring at Jensen. “Tell me things.”

Jensen laughed softly, not bothering to inform Jared that guys weren’t really meant to be pretty.

“Well, I’m twenty-four. I’m from America -- do you know about America? Or anything about the world?” Jensen shifted over until he was pressed to Jared’s side, reaching out to slide fingers down the big man’s flank.

“I know there -- the other come from more. Over the ocean.” Jared couldn’t remember his trip to the island with his parents but he knew he came from somewhere else. While he’d hidden from the others, he had heard some of their words; they were strange to him and he didn’t know what they meant. Pressing his hand over Jensen’s chest, he peered up at his face. “You and me, we use the same words.”

“Yes. We speak English; you do, thankfully. The others? Do you mean people on tours?” Jensen had wondered if Jared ever saw the tour boats as they came through. That must be scary, he figured, to someone who didn’t know any better. “They might be from all over the world, speaking different languages.”

“Different.” Jared liked to say the words Jensen said, feel them on his own tongue. Rolling back, he picked up the fruit he’d brought over the night before and peeled off the shell. “Eat,” he said, as he held pulled a piece off to hand to Jensen.

“Oh, I like these ones,” Jensen nodded, taking the fruit and grinning before he bit into the piece. “Do you know this whole island? The stories about you, they had you all over the place. You’re the only human here besides me, yeah?” Jensen was getting a little excited about the idea of learning more about Jared.

The words all bunched up together and Jared blinked slowly while he munched on some fruit.

“You say the story. Home, where is home?” Jared held up more food to Jensen’s lips.

“Home? My home?” Jensen frowned, leaning forward to pull in the fruit, rolling the taste along his tongue. “I live in a state called Texas but… that’s just where I live. Do you… understand the difference? Of a place you live and _home_?”

“Live here, at home.” Jared reached behind him for more food. When he looked back at Jensen, he could see juice on his face and leaned down to lick it off slowly. “You have... with home. A mate?”

Jensen dragged his tongue over his lips, chasing the taste of Jared lingering there.

“No. I don’t have anyone where I live. It’s just me, my apartment. I’m in school. I actually came here because... I was looking for you.” Jensen smiled softly, shrugging at Jared as innocently as he could.

Scrunching up his face, Jared pushed Jensen down and lay across his chest. Holding a piece of food just out of reach, he teased Jensen, pulling it away when he reached for it. “Why looking?”

Laughing, Jensen snagged Jared’s wrist and dragged the food close, smiling as he chewed the fruit.

“Because I like mysteries. And whether you were alive or not, living out here all alone, was a great one.” He tugged Jared’s arm closer, kissing along the inside of his wrist.

Jared wasn’t sure he understood, but he was sure that he liked the feel of Jensen’s mouth anywhere. Sliding his leg across Jensen’s body, Jared pushed up to sit across the other man’s waist. “What is mystery?”

Pushing his hair back off his face, Jared trailed his fingers down Jensen’s chest and then pushed them back up again. It was so strange to be hearing another voice, feeling the heat of someone else’s body.

“Mystery... it’s like… a story I don’t know all the facts about.” Jensen shifted under Jared’s touches, smiling up at him. “You know how you feel, about the words I use you don’t understand or know? But you want to learn about them, you want to learn all of them. That is how I feel about you. Make sense?”

“You. You don’t understand me.” Jared nodded and shifted down onto Jensen’s thighs. He trailed a finger along the top of Jensen’s leg then across the soft hair on his belly. “Mama? Dad?”

“No, my parents are dead.” Jensen shook his head, glancing down his body to watch Jared’s hand move before looking back up at Jared. “I understand you. I don’t _know_ you. Just like you don’t know me. But… we will learn each other. Like... like lovers, and friends, and mates. Yeah?” Jensen moved into Jared’s touch, smiling softly up at him.

“You said not mates.” Jared hadn’t forgotten the words from the night when Jensen was scared. Letting himself fall forward, Jared supported himself with a hand on either side of Jensen’s head. “I change you, your thoughts. With kiss.”

The smile on Jensen’s lips softened and he reached up, sliding his fingers over Jared’s jaw.

“Yes, you changed me. You saved me, kept me safe, then you touched me. And kissed me. We weren’t mates before, but we are now. We are, okay? Do you want that?” Jensen leaned up to capture Jared’s lips in a soft kiss, a quiet moan slipping between them.

Nodding, Jared circled his arms under Jensen’s neck. “Yes, mine. My mate. Mine.” His lips moved against Jensen’s when he spoke and it sent all the fire through him again. Letting out a long sigh, Jared smiled and kissed Jensen’s bottom lip a few times. “You must learn,” Jared whispered. Licking along Jensen’s mouth he lapped up the last of the sweet juice. “Must learn island things.”

“Uh huh,” Jensen murmured, moving up to meet each brush of their lips together. At this point, he’d probably agree to anything Jared said, because his mind was repeating, _My mate. Mine._ He’d never truly felt like he belonged to _someone_ before. It was amazing.

“Tell me, what you’ll teach me,” Jensen whispered, sliding his fingers down along Jared’s back, legs spreading so the taller man fell between.

Jared’s eyes widened slowly and he licked his lips. “Poisons, rains, food -- and you show me more words.” Jared pulled his hand free to pick up another piece of food and he squeezed it in his hand to drip juice over Jensen’s chin and neck. Grinning, he flicked his tongue along the sweet liquid skin and hummed softly. “Taste good.”

As his head fell back, Jensen moaned; the hot slide of Jared’s tongue was the best kind of sweet torture.

“Gonna be all sticky,” he murmured with a soft laugh, fingers ghosting down Jared’s spine. “I’ll teach you more words, all I know. And pleasure, lots of it. Passion too. There’s so much.” Jensen didn’t even know where to begin, so he settled with simply enjoying this, because it was breathtaking.

Jared cleaned all the juice from Jensen’s neck, licks becoming kisses, kisses turning into small bites. He knew when Jensen liked his touches because his body arched, twisted, pressed up harder against Jared. More tingles slid down Jared’s frame and he was lost again inside all the touching.

“God, Jared, yours lips are amazing.” Jensen laughed shakily, hand sliding back through Jared’s hair. He felt strangely exposed under Jared’s exploratory touches, but it was surprisingly thrilling. “You know, the ache? You said before, the ache you were feeling. It’s called an orgasm, if you were wondering.” Jensen grinned, blinking up at the cave ceiling. “When your body gets all tense and the, uh, stuff, come. Yeah, what that happens. Shit, I’d make a bad teacher.”

“Come?” Jared tested Jensen’s shoulder with his teeth, working his way down the shorter man’s chest. “The ache is good; Jensen is pretty.” Jared pressed down hard against Jensen, _his mate_. “Come later, now.” Jared knelt up and grabbed Jensen’s hands to pull him up. “Swim.”

Smiling at Jared, Jensen nodded and reached out as soon as he was on his feet, tucking hair behind the taller man’s ears.

“Okay, let’s swim. But I need to wear _something_. Otherwise, my pale body will blind you in the sunlight.” Jensen curled his fingers over Jared’s hipbone, squeezing.

“No, like you this way.” Jared nodded and copied Jensen’s touch, hand curving over his mate’s hip. “My mate, we swim.” Pulling Jensen toward the entrance, Jared peered out into the early morning light.

It was still raining, but gently, not like the storm of the night before.

“Water warm in rain,” Jared said as he gazed out.

Jensen shifted in place as he stared out at the jungle. He knew it was just them, no one would see, but it took surprising courage on his part to get past the normalities he’d known his entire life.

“Okay, let’s go swim.” Jensen nodded and slipped his hand in Jared’s, smiling up at the big man as he threaded their fingers together. “Lead the way and I’ll try to keep up.”

Smiling, feeling proud, feeling like he _could_ take care of Jensen -- make him stay -- Jared tugged his mate toward the small waterfall behind the cave entrance. He’d never been there with another person.

-=-=-=-

Over the course of a few days, Jensen got a crash course in living as a jungle man. There were times when it was thrilling, like when Jared tried to teach him to climb, or when they swam and Jared pressed in close to his body. But Jensen didn’t have the strength that Jared did, nor the tolerance of walking barefoot everywhere, so there were quite a few times when the entire experience was painful.

Thankfully, Jared seemed to have an uncanny ability to read his body language. No sooner did his feet start hurting than Jared was scooping him up, carrying him easily. Initially, Jensen protested and laughed, trying to squirm away, but he’d always cave and relax into the heat of Jared’s body.

The big man taught him more about the fruits they could eat, the plants that tasted best, and Jensen even watched him hunt a wild boar, which was something Jensen was surprised to find hot. Just the way Jared moved, so careful and skilled. And being able to help cut up the meat and cook it for their dinner had been pretty amazing too.

There wasn’t much better than touching, though. Jensen learned quickly that Jared liked to touch him, _all_ the time. He didn’t mind it either. The heat of Jared’s body was never far away and the only time Jensen found it distracting was when he was attempting to teach Jared words and the man was seeking touches of a more sexual nature. Jensen wasn’t complaining about those either, because there was nothing quite like the soft moans Jared made and the way he moved.

But Jensen was fairly certain it was time for more. It had been at least four sunsets since the rainstorm and Jensen felt more at home with Jared than he had anywhere else in his entire life. As night settled outside the cave, Jensen’s eyes slid to Jared. The bigger man was sitting on the fashioned bed, tossing pieces of wood into the fire to strengthen it, and Jensen had just finished storing the rest of the meat.

Sliding forward, Jensen crawled across the cave floor until he could slip between Jared’s legs. He dipped down, pressing his lips to the inside of Jared’s knee, shifting the lanky man to the side slightly so he could continue to kiss up along the inside of Jared’s thigh. He was still just as addicted, even more so, and that was completely okay with him.

Smiling, Jared reached down to stroke Jensen’s hair. “Hello, how are you?”

His grin widened when Jensen laughed softly. He was trying to use the phrases and words that Jensen taught him. It seemed like the more words he learned -- the more he remembered in the soft voice of his mother.

Jensen’s hair was silky, still a little warm from the sun, and his lips were making the muscles in Jared’s legs feel weak and tired.

“I’m very good, how are you?” Jensen’s hands slid up until he could untie the cloth at Jared’s waistline, slowly pulling back. “How would you feel about trying something new? More than just our hands on each other?” Jensen smiled up at Jared and then, before the man could ask more, he dipped down and licked along the underside of Jared’s cock from base to tip.

There were times when Jensen did things that made Jared lose all of his words. His hand moved to push his mate away but somehow, that wasn’t what he ended up doing. Pulling on Jensen’s hair, Jared felt all the energy drain out of his body.

“Je-” His air got all caught up again, halfway in and halfway out of his body, and Jared could only moan.

“This is good,” Jensen whispered, eyes lifting up to watch the flush of color on Jared’s cheeks as his tongue slid out, circling along the head of the big man’s cock. He loved watching Jared like this, when the pleasure was so clear on his face and he didn’t hold anything back. “You like how skin tastes, right?”

Jared hummed his agreement, shifted to arch up slightly. “Breath’s warm and skin is _saltysweet_ , Jensen -- do more.” He knew that wasn’t a real word but it made Jensen smile.

A slow grin tugged at Jensen’s lips and he stared up at Jared for another long moment, enjoying the way the bigger man’s chest was already shaking. Lips parting, Jensen dipped down and sucked just the head forward, sinking lower. He already loved the way Jared filled his mouth, salty skin sliding across his tongue. Jensen moaned as Jared’s hips seemed to snap up out of his control, sending his cock deeper into Jensen’s mouth.

Jared knew that Jensen was magic, he knew it because no matter where Jensen touched him, Jared felt it everywhere. Every part of his skin, every muscle would twitch, and he couldn’t stay still. The sucking, licking and swirling against his cock -- _another word Jared liked_ \-- was like fire.

“Want to-” Jared let out a small cry as Jensen sucked so hard on his cock that he slid deeper. Slapping a hand down onto the bedding, Jared tore at it with his fingers.

Pulling up slowly, Jensen let his teeth graze over the other man’s erection just barely, lifting and stroking slowly over the slick skin. He inhaled shakily, lifting his eyes to Jared’s flushed features. His skin was still smooth from the shave he’d had earlier -- in which Jensen had shown him how to use a razor and not the large shell he usually used -- and Jensen couldn’t resist reaching up to touch his cheek. “What do you want, Jared?”

That was a question that was easy for Jared to answer when he finally managed to get enough air in.

“You,” he murmured. Catching Jensen by his shoulders, Jared pulled him up. “Same, I’m learning.”

Jared’s lips twitched and he leaned in to press his lips to his mate’s. Kissing his way down Jensen’s arm, Jared traveled down his mate’s body. Licking and sucking and biting at the flesh, he smoothed his hands over Jensen’s ribs, his hips and then the gentle curve of his ass.

As pleasure crawled through him, Jensen moaned and arched into the teasing bites and kisses, losing himself in the heat of the big man’s mouth. Jared was always so eager to touch, to learn, and Jensen loved the way he threw himself into every action.

“Jare,” Jensen gasped softly then shifted back, holding up a finger when Jared looked up at him. It was fairly easy to shift around, negotiating their bodies until he faced Jared’s hips, the heat from the taller man’s mouth already soaking over his skin. “Now... now we can both taste. Okay? As much as you’d like.”

“Both,” Jared murmured. Without giving Jensen a chance to say anything else, Jared started tracing the ridge of flesh at the head of his mate’s cock with his tongue. He copied Jensen’s movements, and then moaned softly. The scent and heat of his mate was making the ache return worse than ever.

“Jesus,” Jensen whispered in almost a hiss, swaying forward to the heat of Jared’s body. That curious tongue moving over his flesh was one of the best things he’d ever felt and he let his lips part to run over Jared’s skin, air quickening from his lungs. His tongue moved in slow sweeps over Jared’s cock, lips finally moving to circle around the head, moaning as Jared’s hips thrust forward again.

Jared’s mouth opened wide in a gasp at the same moment as Jensen’s hips moved. The swollen flesh slid deep into Jared’s mouth. He choked, and when Jensen moved to pull back, Jared growled softly and grabbed Jensen’s hip firmly to hold him there.

The taste and scent of his mate was everywhere and Jared’s heart was beating so fast he could hear the blood rushing in his ears. Shifting restlessly, wanting more, Jared slid his arm between Jensen’s legs and pulled him closer, _deeper_ , even as he thrust his own hips forward to sink deeper into the hot wet of Jensen’s mouth.

Truthfully, Jensen had never done this with anyone before. He’d given plenty of blowjobs -- or at least enough to be confident and enjoy them -- but trying to do so while feeling the maddening heat of Jared’s lips and tongue around him was a little surreal. He moaned against the slow thrust of Jared’s cock, rocking his hips gently in time with his lover’s forward movement.

Hands sliding over Jared’s skin, Jensen touched every part of the man he could reach, slipping a hand down to roll Jared’s balls slowly under his fingertips. _Amazing_. The absolute best feeling Jensen had ever lost himself in.

Jared couldn’t think, couldn’t get his mind to move past the fact that he was building that ache so quickly he would _come_. It felt like Jensen’s mouth and hands were everywhere, moving, touching and making Jared’s skin and body hot and tingling.

Moaning, he sucked hard on Jensen’s cock and pulled the smooth flesh deep into his mouth. He swallowed, fingers pressing between the smooth cheeks of his mate’s ass.

No part of Jensen had been prepared to handle Jared sinking down on him so easily, leaving Jensen reeling with the heat and dizzying pleasure. He was already so close, Jared’s fingers digging into his ass and making his entire body shudder. His lips hollowed and pulled, jaw relaxing to suck Jared to the base.

After a moment, he pulled back, gasping in a breath as his hips rocked too hard forward.

“Jared- I- I’m close, oh fuck,” Jensen groaned, hips moving forward once more as his lips descended over Jared again, sliding closer as far as he could go.

Shuddering, Jared whimpered as he sucked on his mate’s flesh. His nails scraped over Jensen’s ass, pulling him in as he tried to swallow him deeper. His hips moved forward to thrust into Jensen’s mouth while his tongue swept over the other man’s cock.

There was a different flavor in Jared’s mouth, bittersweet and spicy, and he growled, letting his teeth just barely drag over the hard organ as he pulled his hand back to cup the velvet soft balls of flesh near his lips.

In the end, it was probably Jared being so very eager, so _attentive_ , that shoved Jensen roughly over the edge. His orgasm slammed hard through him, causing a deep moan to vibrate and shift around Jared’s cock in his mouth. He sucked hard on his lover through the swell of his release, body jerking forward into the burning heat of Jared’s mouth.

Jared’s hips shook and he gasped. Jensen’s come was hot and slick, and Jared moved it around with his tongue before swallowing greedily. Then his breath was stuck inside his lungs as his body arched and he came. The way Jensen was touching him, clinging almost, and the taste of him had Jared’s head spinning.

The taste of Jared was surprisingly sweet, the tinge of salt enough to make his entire body hum softly with pleasure. There was no denying it now, Jared was the most addictive thing imaginable. And Jensen couldn’t get enough of his soft moans as he came, filling Jensen’s mouth until he swallowed.

Jensen pulled back with a gasp, head dropping to rest along his lover’s thigh as he sucked in deep, greedy breaths.

“God, Jared, you’re so perfect,” Jensen murmured, pressing his lips softly to Jared’s skin and closing his eyes.

Jared pushed up and fell, laughed softly and then scrambled up to find Jensen’s lips with his own. Sliding his tongue past Jensen’s soft lips, Jared moaned louder and slid both hands up into his mate’s hair.

When he finally broke back from the kiss, Jared laughed again. “That’s my new favorite.”

Jensen laughed as well and pushed forward, bringing their lips together once more. He pulled back after a long moment, sighing softly. “Feel free to suck my cock as often as you like.” Jensen grinned at the big man, smattering small kisses along Jared’s skin. “Just wait until I let you fuck me; you might love that even more.”

“Until I what?” Jared perked up and wrestled Jensen onto his back so he could straddle his hips. “Fuck. What is that?”

A soft groan fell from Jensen’s lips and he shifted under Jared’s weight, lifting his hands to run down Jared’s chest.

“It’s sex. When, uh, you, put your cock in me. Kind of like this, you over me but between my legs. And, well, it’s really, really good.” Just thinking about it was making Jensen’s body tingle.

“In you... does it hurt you?” Jared wriggled his hips slightly to get comfortable and lay down on Jensen’s body. He liked it most of all when he could cover Jensen, hold him close, keep his mate safe.

“Hmm, a little but then it gets good. Plus, there’s ways to make it easier. You would have to stretch me first.” Jensen closed his eyes and ran his fingers down Jared’s back slowly. “You like when my hand is around you, yeah? And I squeeze, so it’s like tight pressure? Being in me would be tight too, but hotter, and we’d be connected, like one.”

Jared tilted his chin up and sucked on the scratchy, stubble-covered cheek of his mate.

“What’s connected?” Maybe of their conversations went this way. Jensen would use words, Jared would try to understand them and that would mean _more_ words he wanted to learn.

“It’s... the two of us becoming one for a while. See,” Jensen hummed softly, shifting them around until he could take Jared’s hand and tug down. After a little pulling, he was able to slip Jared’s fingers between his legs, making Jared’s fingertip graze over his hole, and he shuddered softly. “We’ll stretch here, you’ll put your fingers in me to make me looser. Then when I’m ready, you’ll put your cock in me. We’ll be connected; does that make sense?”

Jensen was pretty sure if he were a teacher he’d be the most perverted one ever.

Jared blinked slowly and licked his lips. “It’s… small,” he murmured. Pressing his finger forward slightly, Jared watched as Jensen’s cheeks flushed darker red. “I’ll give you pain.”

Pulling his hand away, Jared frowned and rubbed his hand over Jensen’s belly.

“But it’s good pain,” Jensen whispered, falling back on the bed and inhaling slowly. Just the briefest touch and his body was yearning for it -- _aching_ , as Jared would say. “You know how sometimes I bite your neck, and it hurts a little but it also feels good? It’s kind of like that.”

“Yes, you like that -- I like that.” Jared pressed his hand first to Jensen’s chest then his own. “Same. Same.” Smiling, Jared slid off Jensen’s body completely and reached out for the knife that Jensen had shown him how to use and some of the bark had had been stripping.

He wasn’t quite sure that he understood how _fucking_ wouldn’t hurt Jensen and it was all mixed up in his mind again. There was something about it that he wanted but he didn’t know how it would all work.

Folding his long legs under him, Jared worked some of the stringy bark off the branch he’d picked up. “Am I... am I not smart?”

Frowning, Jensen sat up and reached out, laying his hand on Jared’s shoulder.

“Why would you say that? You’re very smart. There’s so much you learned on your own, and you’ve learned so much with me. What makes you think you’re not smart?” Jensen shifted closer to press against Jared’s side, letting his lips rest on the big man’s shoulder.

“There are things I can’t make it… understand. So many words and you won’t-” Jared sighed and the knife stilled. “You will go away. There are smart _others_ \-- I’ve seen them come here.” It was something that Jared wasn’t used to: the fear of losing something. There hadn’t been anything for him to lose before he got his mate.

Something in Jensen’s heart pinched and he slowly shook his head, running his hand through Jared’s hair softly.

“I have never felt more at home than I do with you here, now. Jared, off of this island, I have no one. You... you’re more to me than anyone has been in so long. There’s a very real chance I could already be in love with you; do you think I would give that up?” Jensen tilted Jared’s jaw, slowly kissing the man, his hand pressing to Jared’s heart. “Home,” he whispered, kissing Jared once more.

“In love,” Jared whispered. “More than family. In love, was my parents.” His lips curled into a smile against Jensen’s. “You need me.”

“Yes, I need you. You look after me,” Jensen murmured and held Jared close, kissing him deeply once more. “In love, will all my heart.” He took Jared’s hand and pressed it over his heart. “This is how I know everything we do and have together will be perfect. Do you... feel things? In your heart? For me?”

The knife dropped from Jared’s hand and he reached back quickly to pull Jensen forward across his lap.

“I do, like warm and spark and it move all over. Everywhere in me and I- I- I want you here with me. When you, if you walk off, away -- it feels not full here.” Jared pressed Jensen’s hand to his chest and smiled.

“I think you’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever met.” Jensen grinned at Jared, leaning forward to kiss him softly once more. There truly was something about Jared’s innocence, his breathtaking features, his strength. Jensen was sure no one would ever compare. “If you’ll have me, Jared, I’ll stay here forever with you,” Jensen whispered, sliding his lips across Jared’s jaw, over his high cheekbones, fingers pressing into the big man’s chest.

Jared frowned as he smiled. “You are mine now -- already. I _do_ have you.”

Laughing, he wrapped his long arms around his mate and pressed Jensen in as close as he could. It made the empty go away.

“Work now -- you should get water.” Jared dragged his tongue along Jensen’s jaw and sighed against his ear. “Then more sex.” Another favorite word.

Laughing once more, Jensen nodded and clambered up to his feet. “Okay, I’ll get water. But hey, sometime -- doesn’t have to be today -- but… in the future. I want you to fuck me, okay? I _want_ it. I mean, unless you really don’t...” Jensen trailed off with another laugh and shook his head, stepping back from Jared. “Man, I’m making this too complicated. I’m gonna go get water.”

“Be safe and fast,” Jared called out. Sinking back down on the ground by the fire, he smiled.

-=-=-=-

Jared was crouched low to the ground, his heart beating slow and steady as his eyes tracked the small animal they were hunting. It was time for Jensen to learn how to hunt, to feed them. He was tucked in behind Jared, quiet and still just as Jared had taught him.

Turning his head slowly, Jared widened his eyes slightly when he looked at Jensen, and his mate nodded. The sharpened spear Jensen was gripping tightly was quivering, and Jared smoothed his fingers over Jensen’s hand until the shaking stopped.

Nodding slightly, Jared moved his eyes back to their prey. Jensen had called them _Monitor_ s -- they were strong, not too fast but would give a lot of food. Jared pressed his fingers to Jensen’s arm, urging him forward with the spear. He watched as Jensen pulled his arm back and aimed.

Jensen wasn’t sure why he was so nervous. After all, he’d watched Jared do this nearly a dozen times now, and the last few times he’d even helped corner the animal. Now, though, Jensen knew this was his animal -- lizard -- to catch and kill. He wanted to be important to Jared in this way too, wanted to provide for them.

As he’d watched Jared do so many times before, Jensen moved forward with swift, precise steps. The lizard looked up just as Jensen cleared the brush but didn’t have a chance to flee. In the next moment, Jensen was driving his spear down hard into the creature, pressing in until it stopped moving.

Jensen was panting slightly as he stared down at the dead monitor, the thrill of the hunt and kill pulsing through him. Slowly, he straightened up, staring down for another long moment before looking up at Jared and grinning. “I did it!”

Laughing, Jared hopped over the short grasses and slid his arm over Jensen’s shoulders. He was proud and slid his hand up into Jensen’s hair to mess it up. Jensen had been growing his hair and Jared liked it, the slight curl of it and the way it was getting more yellow in the sun. “Good. Now when I am sick -- _you_ can feed me.”

“Yeah, I totally will.” Jensen grinned and bounced slightly with his rising excitement. He couldn’t help it, Jared brought out slight giddiness in him. So he leapt off the ground and onto Jared, legs clamping around his middle and arms around his shoulders. Before the big man could respond, he was forcing his head back, kissing Jared hard and deep then parting enough to gasp, “My reward.”

Jared’s world kind of spun a little when Jensen kissed him; combined with the hunt, happiness and the emotion -- Jensen’s kiss was kind of like the most perfect sun-warmed skin -- and made Jared feel dopey and heavy. Slipping his hands under Jensen’s ass, Jared held him there, smiling. “You are... what did you say? Crazy.”

“Mmhmm, crazy,” Jensen agreed with a small nod, biting his lip as he looked down at Jared. “I’ve lost count of how many days I’ve been here,” he murmured, dipping down to capture the taller man’s lips in another long, drawn-out kiss. It felt so wonderfully strange to feel proud of himself, just for the knowledge that he could protect Jared, keep him safe, if need be.

“Not much days. There is time for us.” Jared let Jensen slide down his body. “Now, carry dinner.” He grinned down at his mate and ducked his head down to press a kiss to the spot he claimed as his -- the soft skin just at the corner of Jensen’s mouth.

Jensen sighed softly, hand pressing to Jared’s chest as he savored the moment before stepping back and stooping down to grab the lizard. He was trying to keep an open mind about eating the thing; after all, this would be his life now, he needed to adjust.

“Have you eaten this meat before?”Jensen asked, hesitating a moment before heaving the creature over his shoulder and starting for the path.

“Yes. You will like him. Tastes lots of flavor.” Jared grinned as he looked back over his shoulder. Jensen’s skin had darkened a little, even though he’d been right and sometimes burned. Still, he was a more golden brown color, his hair beginning to brush his shoulders at the back, and Jared was _sure_ there was more bright to the leaf green eyes.

“Good. Maybe we’ll use some of those herbs you collected yesterday.” Mostly, Jensen went everywhere with Jared, but the big man could move through trees much quicker, so occasionally he’d go to the other side of the island -- like the day before -- and the things he always came back with excited Jensen. He liked exploring the things they could eat. “We should make some type of pot, so we could make a stew. With meat and vegetables and herbs.”

“Stew sounds bad and we eat many vegetables. We need more chocolate.” Jared had decided that some of the special things that Jensen got delivered were worth waiting for. The chocolate was his favorite, especially when Jensen let it melt on his chest so Jared could lick him clean.

“Stew is delicious, I swear. And I just remembered the tour guide who usually brought me things. Shit, I hope he doesn’t think I’m dead or something.” Jensen pursed his lips, shaking his head as he shifted the weight of the lizard and slowed his pace along the hike up the hill to the cave. “Maybe next time I see him I can ask him to bring a bunch of chocolate, so we can keep some on hand. Maybe chocolate sauce, so you can smear it on my cock and suck it off.”

Jensen smirked at Jared’s back. He liked being able to say whatever he wanted about sexual things and not worry about the taboo of it. Jared didn’t have those standards; Jensen liked feeling so open. He’d even gotten completely used to the cloth he wore.

“Two favorite things. You and chocolate.” Jared reached up and grabbed one of the long, thick vines and swung down toward the edge of the small pond. Laughing, he swung the vine back up hard. “Come down here; skin and wash.”

“Yes, sir.” Jensen laughed, staring at the vine as it swayed toward him. There was no way he was trying the fancy move while still holding the lizard. So he slid down the edge, stumbled a bit and dropped the lizard near the bottom. Looking up at Jared, he shrugged and turned to hide his blush. He wasn’t quite so graceful yet. “How do we start?” Jensen had learned to skin a warthog -- it hadn’t been pleasant.

“Head, here...” Jared pointed at the back of the lizard’s wide neck. “Round the leg and down side. We will take the meat in this.” Jared tossed one of his small hide bags on the ground and untied his cloth. Dropping it beside Jensen, he smiled and walked slowly backwards, wading into the cool water.

Jensen watched Jared, heat crawling through him as his eyes slid along the taller man’s body. “And... you want me to do this? While you’re naked? And just so... tempting?” Jensen’s smile wavered slightly. “I so didn’t teach you to tease like this.”

“You teach me, I teach you.” Jared waded back until the water was at the middle of his thighs and swirled his fingers in the water. Splashing some of the cool water up over his belly, he rubbed the wet along his skin. “You’re not skinning.”

“You’re still naked.” Jensen stared a moment longer -- Jared’s glistening skin, he couldn’t ignore that -- before shaking his head and turning back to the lizard. He would so much rather be in the water, naked with Jared, as opposed to... this. “Fuckin’ lizard,” he grumbled and turned back to the creature, grabbing the knife Jared had set out. His hand was shaking slightly but he forced his way through the first cut of tough skin.

“Okay?” Jared could see the tension in Jensen’s shoulders. He knew his mate well. Brave man, smart and great at learning things but there were some things that were hard for him.

“Uh, yeah, definitely.” Jensen nodded slowly, his voice a distracted grumble. He didn’t want to screw up the cut of the meat, didn’t want to waste anything since the animal had given his life. And well, he wanted Jared to be proud of him. “What do I do with the skin?” he asked quietly, wincing when the next cut caused blood to splurt on his chest. “Ew.”

“Bring down here and rinse off. We will leave it out for the bugs. They clean.” Smiling slightly, Jared put his hands on his hips and leaned over to the side to watch as Jensen finished up the cuts. Pressing his lips together, he tried not to laugh at the expression on his mate’s face when he had to pull hard to get the tough skin off.

“Come, I wash you,” Jared coaxed softly.

“You shouldn’t touch me right now. I’m covered in this filth.” Jensen scrunched his face up, tucking the meat into the bag Jared had set out then gathering up the skin. This was by far the grossest thing he’d do on the island but he hadn’t gotten sick or anything so maybe he wasn’t a complete lost cause.

Once the skin had been rinsed, he tossed it on a large rock and untied his animal hide, tossing it back up by Jared’s on the shore. “This meat better be _really_ delicious.”

Jared held out his hands until Jensen waded in far enough to take them.

“You make me proud. I know, these things you don’t like... don’t know well.” He smiled and pulled Jensen down into the water with him. His hands moved up his mate’s arms slowly, washing away the blood from his skin.

“Yeah?” Jensen grinned up at Jared, pleased by his words. “I’m glad I make you proud, I want to be good for you. Be a good mate.” He shifted up into Jared’s touches, a soft sigh on his lips. “I love you, Jared,” he murmured, leaning in so their lips could brush together.

“Yes, forever.” Jared smiled. Time going on with no end, Jensen had taught him. He liked that.


	3. Chapter 3

As it turned out, monitor lizard was really very tasty. Maybe because Jensen had killed it himself, skinned it, cooked it; like being completely responsible for the meal made it all the more pleasant. Jensen laid back on the bed, watching Jared as he moved to gather the remains, storing them along the side of the cave. There was a loud gust of wind past the cave entrance and Jensen could smell rain on the air. At least he thought.

“It’s going to storm tonight, huh?” he asked quietly, shifting to untie the hide around his waist and lifting his hips to pull it off. He knew Jared knew the weather much better than him, but he was trying.

“Yes; bad, I think.” Jared straightened, stretched and padded over to the cave entrance to peer out into the darkening night. “Are you sleepy?”

“Not really, just relaxing.” Jensen smiled softly at him and rolled to his side, tugging his bag close. He pulled the zipper open and dug inside, pulling random things out until he could grasp his notebook. “Have you ever seen snow?” he asked curiously, jotting a few notes about their day as he always liked to.

“Snow? No. It’s at Christmas, right?” Jared retreated back into the shelter of the cave and rubbed his arms. It was getting cooler outside. His eyes widened when he saw Jensen’s bag open. He enjoyed looking through the strange items his mate had brought from away.

Sinking down at Jensen’s hip, Jared pulled the bag onto his lap and began to look through the various things.

“You know what Christmas is?” Jensen looked up, slight smile on his lips. “Is that something you remember from your parents?” He’d yet to ask what happened to Jared’s parents, unsure how it would affect the man and not wanting to upset him. It didn’t stop him from being curious, though.

“Yes, my mama.” Jared tipped his head to the side, examining a long piece of wood with a sharp end and a soft end. He held it up for Jensen to identify.

“Pencil,” Jensen murmured, grinning at him. “Jared, how old where you, when your mama, and, you know... when they passed away?”

Jared knew that was his mate’s _nice_ way of saying dead. They’d had a long discussion one day about how people said things in ways that made it harder to understand what they were saying. Jared remembered being very confused. “I don’t know. Maybe this high.” Jared held his hand about three feet above the ground. “A few storm seasons here. A pencil is like a pen?”

“Yeah, you write with it. The black part at the top is called lead. See, try.” Jensen held his notebook out so Jared could scribble on it. “But unlike a pen, you can erase with a pencil. So trying drawing a little, then turn it over and use the eraser.”

Jared made a few lines on the paper and then held the pencil out to Jensen. “Show me Jared.”

When Jensen started making the letters, Jared leaned over and watched.

“My mama was here longer but she got sick after my dad was dead. I tried to keep her safe but I don’t know all medicine.”

Sadness curled through Jensen’s chest and he swallowed, nodding slowly as he wrote _Jared_ on the paper.

“That must have been very hard, to not be able to help. Did... did you bury her?” God, Jensen couldn’t even imagine something so horrible for a child. He held up his paper and pencil, soft smile on his lips.

Jared traced the letters with his finger and smiled.

“She told me, I covered her with rocks to keep her safe, over in her place.” Jared sighed and dropped his gaze. He didn’t like thinking about that first time really alone, the nights he had cried himself to sleep, the fear.

Rolling his bottom lip under his teeth, Jared turned back to the bag and pulled out the knife Jensen had that hid inside itself. Fumbling with it for a few moments, Jared handed it to Jensen to open.

“Open it,” he said softly.

With a soft laugh, Jensen reached out for the pocket knife, pulling it open and offering it to Jared. “It’s called a pocket knife. Pretty handy. So when you were younger, you must have seen tourists, the others on boats and stuff. Why didn’t you ever try and talk to them?”

Jared frowned and trailed the knife along his forearm to test the edge. “The man who came here then, once he pushed me in the boat. I wanted to see -- _curious_. But he was... he pushed me down and tried to touch under my shirt.” Jared could feel the tight fear growing in his throat.. “My dad found me and fought with the man, he told me not to go near the boats anymore alone. And then -- I was alone all the time. But I promised my dad. Jared doe- I don’t break promise... promises. You keep promises.”

“God,” Jensen whispered, tears welling in his eyes at just the very thought of what Jared had gone through. He was fairly sure there wasn’t a single person in the world who was better than this man. “Yes, Jared, I keep promises. You were so brave, so go through all of that.” He reached out to trail his fingers down Jared’s cheek. “I’m sure your parents would be very proud of you.”

“Jensen?” Jared put the knife back in the bag slowly.

“Yeah?” Jensen closed his notebook, head tilting to the side as he considered Jared.

“Sometimes… I wasn’t brave. I cried and I wished... I went to sleep by where mama was.” Jared turned his head away so Jensen wouldn’t see the tears that were burning in his eyes.

Jensen rolled his lips together, shifting forward to wrap his arms around Jared’s shoulders. “That’s more than okay, Jared. You were young, you must have been so scared. But you made it through, and you’re such a good person. Sometimes just being able to admit you were scared or upset makes you brave.”

Jared smiled slightly when he turned to pick up the bag again. “Yeah? That is a good rule, I think.”

He rustled around in the bag again and pulled out a flat piece of paper with bumps, like the egg sacs that spider’s left. “What is?”

“Medicine. They’re antibiotics, in case I got sick or something.” Jensen shrugged, watching as Jared simply stared at him. “Well, they’re not really for anything specific. I’m not sick; I don’t need to take them. But they’re just in case, if I were to get sick. Okay?” The last thing he wanted was Jared to think Jensen would get sick as his parents had.

“If you get sick, I give you this?” Jared knew that was something _very_ important to remember. “And you will stay.” Jared took the medicine back and ran his finger over the top of the paper. It looked very small to do something so special.

“Yeah, I’d take one if I were sick.” Jensen let his hand rest on Jared’s arm, squeezing softly. “But we eat healthy, and drink plenty of water; we take care of each other, so I don’t think I’ll get sick.”

“Good,” Jared said quietly. He put the medicine back in the bag and pulled out one of the small things Jensen called a _bottle_. “What is?”

“Oh, uh…” Jensen hesitated, his cheeks flushing slightly. He’d kind of forgotten about the lube in his bag, mainly because he hadn’t had to _take matters into his own hands_ since Jared came along. That would be handy for the future, though. “That’s lube, lubricant.”

“What for?” Jared tugged on the top of it but it wouldn’t open so he handed it to Jensen.

The blush on Jensen’s cheeks was spreading and he cleared his throat, taking the bottle and flicking at the cap, showing Jared how it opened.

“Well, you used it to… slick things. You know, to, uh, make things go into other things easier.” Jensen kind of wanted to smack his hand to his face -- quite possibly the worst explanation ever.

Jared turned and grinned at Jensen then reached out to stroke his fingers over his mate’s cheeks. “Your face, you are... shy?” Shifting back a little, Jared leaned back against the warmth of Jensen’s body. “Why? What things?”

Upon further reflection, Jensen was pretty sure he shouldn’t have taken the animal hide off. Because now just _thinking_ about all this was turning him on and it was going to be pretty obvious. “Do you remember when I talked about sex? About... you fucking me? And I said you would stretch me open? That’s what you use the lube for, to make your fingers go in easier. I mean, there’s more uses for it than that but that’s why I have it.”

Jensen laughed weakly, pulling at a blanket and letting it fall over his lap.

Glancing down at the blanket, Jared felt the by-now familiar heat move through him when he saw that Jensen wanted sex.

“You thought you have sex here?” Jared lifted an eyebrow and rested his arm on Jensen’s hip so his fingers could brush the bulge under the blanket.

A soft moan fell from Jensen’s lips and he shook his head slowly. “N-not really. I, uh, also use it when I’m by myself. When I touch myself. Kinda forgot I had it. You know, since you came along.” Jensen couldn’t help tugging at the blanket again, this time to get Jared’s fingers on his skin. “Have you thought more about it? Having sex with me?”

Jared’s hair fell forward when he tilted his head down to hide his smile.

“I thinks sex all the time,” he said quietly. Just the tips of his fingers were grazing over the soft skin of Jensen’s belly.

“But not ‘all the way’ sex, right? I mean, you don’t know how amazing it will be. I... you could um...” Jensen dropped back at once, spreading his legs and grinning up at Jared. “You could just try, just put one finger in me? Then you’d get some idea of how it’d feel around your cock and you would know that it doesn’t hurt me.”

“Try?” Jared brushed his hair back off his forehead and took the small bottle. He lifted it and sniffed at the small opening. “No smell,” he said softly. Sliding his fingers a little lower on Jensen’s belly, Jared rubbed the soft hair scattered across Jensen’s skin.

The air hitched in Jensen’s chest and he inhaled slowly, staring up at Jared.

“No, no smell. No taste. Which doesn’t mean you should taste it; don’t do that. I can’t imagine it’s tasty.” He laughed softly and spread his legs a little wider, biting his lip as he stared up at Jared.

Jared poured some of the clear liquid onto his fingertips and rubbed them together. It was smooth, slick, slippery like the jellies he found with the seaweed on the beach after storms. Turning slightly, Jared nudged Jensen’s hip, pushing until his mate had no choice but to roll over on to his stomach.

If he had learned anything since Jensen had arrived, it was that he loved touching him; he loved the feel of Jensen’s skin, the way it always felt warmed by the sun even when they were inside. Trailing his fingers down Jensen’s back, Jared took a deep breath.

“You are still pretty,” he murmured.

Laughing softly, Jensen tucked his arms under his head and laid his forehead on his forearm.

“How about you call me handsome? Pretty is for girls.” His lips twitched in a slight smile, legs spreading once more.

When Jared’s fingers reached the curve of Jensen’s ass, he smiled and traced the line between his muscles.

“You have a strong ass,” Jared murmured. “And you are handsome,” he added.

“It’s probably bad I’ve taught you swear words,” Jensen mumbled, laughing softly. “Though I have to admit, I’d like to hear you saying some of those words when you’re fucking me.” He hoped that this was leading to all of that, because Jensen couldn’t imagine anything he wanted more.

“You say it all often. Me _fucking_ you.” Jared tried the word out to see how it felt rolling off his lips. Under his palm, he felt Jensen shudder slightly. “You like that word.”

“Because of what it means, yes. You’ll understand.” Jensen shifted up against Jared’s fingers, breathing slowly through Jared’s gentle touches. “Do you not like it?”

“The word? Or...” Jared’s lips curled up slightly at the way Jensen was moving. The _lube_ was still smooth between his fingers and Jared threw his leg over Jensen’s so he could straddle his mate’s thighs. Pressing his finger forward, he felt for the bumpy skin he’d felt before. Jensen’s back arched and Jared licked his lips.

“The word, it’s... right now, it’s nothing to you. You don’t know yet... but you will.” Jensen was breathing rougher already, Jared’s little touches driving him crazy even if he didn’t know yet what he was doing. “Jared,” he moaned softly, trying to force himself to keep from squirming.

Pressing his finger gently against Jensen’s ass, Jared shivered slightly as he felt the tight muscle quiver.

“No hurt,” he said softly. Leaning down, he shifted his hips back so he could push his finger deeper even as he licked at the long line of his mate’s spine.

The moan that fell from Jensen’s lips was low and deep, his body rolling back like a wave into Jared’s touches. It had been far too long since he felt the touch of someone in him, and the way Jared’s finger was just barely moving in was maddening, the heat of his tongue on his skin nearly dizzying. “It doesn’t hurt. I promise, Jared, I’ll tell you to stop if I do.”

Jared pushed deeper, hissing out a quick breath as the heat of his mate’s body clenched tightly around his finger. Jensen’s skin was going red, his muscles were moving under skin, and Jared could hear Jensen breathing faster. “It’s good?”

“Yes, yes, Jared.” Jensen panted the words, rolling his body up towards Jared’s heat. “More. Add another.” Like it always was, he couldn’t get enough of Jared’s touches, the way he got when he was exploring Jensen’s body. It was amazing and Jensen was shameless for it.

As he pressed his finger deeper, Jared breathed against his mate’s back. He loved the feel of Jensen’s heat against his cheek. He slid another finger alongside the first, and Jensen’s legs spread a little wider as he pushed up.

“It’s- you’re... feel.” Jared slid his own hardening flesh along the back of Jensen’s thigh. “Feels good,” he whispered.

“Uh huh,” Jensen hummed softly, hips lifting to slide back onto Jared’s two fingers once more. Jared was going to be the biggest Jensen had ever had, but it wasn’t really about that, because for the first time, Jensen was actually in love with the man he was with. His hands shifted until he could clutch the blanket; a shudder moved down his body as Jared’s fingers moved deeper still. “Harder, Jared, faster- I- _god_ I want you.”

Jared blinked a few times then pressed an open-mouthed kiss to the small of Jensen’s back. He could feel the ring of muscle relaxing around his fingers and stretched them apart slightly.

“Slow. I like the sounds you make when it’s slow,” Jared said against Jensen’s skin.

Groaning, Jensen rolled his head down into the blankets, biting his lip against the urge to _beg_. This was Jared’s first time, after all; Jensen didn’t want to make it anything less than special. It was maddening, the way his cock moved against the rougher rasp of blanket, and Jensen wasn’t sure he’d last through all this. Then Jared’s fingers crooked inside him, unintentionally pressing against his prostate, and Jensen bucked back against him, moaning loud enough it echoed in the cave.

Almost ready to pull back, Jared shifted off Jensen’s body slightly.

“What... did I-” Moaning, Jared pressed up against Jensen’s side as he fell down. His fingers pushed back into Jensen’s body and his lips moved up over Jensen’s shoulder until he could bite down on his mate’s neck. Curling his fingers again, Jared found the spot the made Jensen writhe and twist.

Jensen moaned through the following waves of pleasure, hips jerking hard back onto Jared’s finger. “It’s- it’s- _fuck_ , Jared, you’re drivin’ me crazy.” Jensen laughed shakily and turned his head to the side, blinking his eyes open to stare at Jared. “Called a prostate. Like, a little bundle of nerves basically and- clearly, feels good when you-” Jensen cut off with a gasp as Jared spread him just a little wider. “God, more, please, Jared.”

Jared didn’t bother repeating that word because Jensen’s voice was starting to sound a little thin, a little tight.

“Jensen? You should kiss me,” Jared whispered. As soon as Jensen turned toward him, Jared slid another finger deep inside his mate and spread them all wider. His tongue slipped past Jensen’s lips and he felt like he was drinking down all the sounds from Jensen, sounds that made his body tingle and shiver.

Pleasure spiraled up in Jensen and he could barely breathe, the air rushing out his nose as he shifted closer forward. He twisted slightly on the bed, causing his cock to move over Jared’s skin as the big man’s fingers moved deeper up into him. Groaning, Jensen sucked Jared’s tongue hard into his mouth, hands lifting, fingers tangling into Jared’s hair. He’d never wanted someone so badly; it was maddening.

Moaning, Jared pulled back from the kiss and struggled to slide his arm under Jensen’s body. “Closer,” he said. His hips were pushing forward, their cocks rubbing together as he eased his fingers in and out of his lover’s ass. It was slick, hot -- and Jared felt breathless and weak. “Jensen...”

“Okay, okay,” Jensen gasped, laying his hand on Jared’s arm. “Stop, we- it’s...” Jensen groaned and shifted back until Jared’s fingers fell from him. “I need you in me now, okay?” He dropped onto his back, spreading his legs then hesitating. “Do you think it’d be easier for you if I’m on my knees? Or like this?”

Jared blinked and dropped his gaze, suddenly feeling a little lost.

“I don’t know,” he said softly. “I just-” When he lifted his gaze once more, he smiled -- he shouldn’t feel shy around Jensen, Jensen knew everything about him. “Show me,” he prompted quietly.

Letting himself fall back, Jared grabbed his mate and pulled him over his body. He loved being able to move Jensen, lift him so easily. Maybe it was because of the way it made Jensen bite his bottom lip, the way he swallowed and his eyes darkened.

Jared’s hands moved down to Jensen’s hips and his pressed his mate down as he arched up against Jensen’s ass.

“Show me,” he said again.

“Oh god,” Jensen moaned softly, sliding his body down then pushing up. He reached down to grab the bottle of lube, slathering his fingers quickly and reaching beneath him to stroke over Jared’s overheated skin. “I’m gonna go slow, okay?” Jensen murmured, dipping down to gently kiss Jared. “You ready?”

As he arched and moved his body, the head of Jared’s cock slid along his skin, catching on his entrance, and Jensen sucked in a shuddering breath, anticipation churning thickly through him.

Jared was shaking. He wanted Jensen, even if he wasn’t entirely sure what was happening -- it felt good. As soon as the tight heat of his mate’s body drew him in, Jared arched his hips up; his cock slid forward. Jensen’s body was like soft fur, gentle, sweet, tight, and Jared squeezed his eyes closed for a moment.

Gliding his hands up Jensen’s sides, Jared dragged his nails over the flushed skin and then gripped Jensen’s shoulders.

“More,” he growled softly. Pulling, hips pushing up, Jared planted his feet firmly on the bedding and thrust up. He _needed_ Jensen’s body, needed Jensen.

“Fuck,” Jensen groaned, head tilting back as he pushed himself up and sank down onto the full length of his lover. His palms flattened out on Jared’s chest, body shaking as he inhaled deeply, breathing through the stretch and burn. “Just a minute,” he whispered, willing his body to relax against the pressure.

Jared felt like he was going to come.

All he could think about was the heat of Jensen’s body, the way his cock was so tightly clenched inside Jensen. It was too many things and too much and Jared’s hands clawed up his mate’s chest as he tried to stay still. “Jensen...”

“Shh, it’s okay; take a deep breath.” Jensen slowly lowered himself, brushing his lips along Jared’s in gentle passes. “Don’t come yet; I promise it only gets better. Can you hold off?” Jensen forced himself not to clench around the man, not to move, in case it was the thing that set Jared off. He knew how overwhelming the first time was, the heat and the pressure.

Trembling, Jared nodded. He panted against Jensen’s mouth, fingers curling hard into the softer man’s back. There was no point in trying to speak -- Jared was scared to even move. His heart was racing and he’d never felt anything like the pleasure that was biting at him, threatening to overwhelm him.

Jensen wasn’t sure how long he stayed there, Jared buried deep within him, their lips meeting and sharing breaths. Finally, it was just too much, Jensen couldn’t bear to stay still any longer, and he pushed up until he was sitting, Jared sliding impossibly deeper into him.

“Gotta move, Jare, okay?” he asked breathlessly, waiting for the slightest nod before he was lifting his body, sinking down onto his lover with a deep groan. “Fuck, Jared.”

Jared sucked in a ragged breath and then his lashes fluttered closed for a moment.

“Jensen,” he whispered. He couldn’t get much further because the man was sliding back off his cock again and the sensation of losing the tight clench was horrible.

Without even thinking, Jared reacted. His hands snapped back to Jensen’s hips and dug in so he could hold him still. Arching up off the bedding, Jared thrust up _hard_ into his mate’s body.

“Oh god,” Jensen gasped, shuddering as Jared’s body snapped up into him again. The minute he pulled up, Jared was thrusting forward, trying to get deeper in him again, and Jensen thought he was moments from losing his mind. “Jared, hard-” Jensen moaned, not able to form anything more as he worked his body harder, faster, down onto Jared. Nowhere even close to enough.

Jensen’s voice was thick and rough and it felt like it was moving along Jared’s skin like water. Letting out a small groan, Jared slapped a hand against Jensen’s chest, gripped his arm and rolled them. As soon as Jensen’s back was on the bedding, Jared thrust forward as hard as he could and let out a cry of pleasure.

“Jared, oh jesus-” Jensen gasped at the sudden hard thrust of his lover deep within him. His nails dug into Jared’s shoulders, legs lifting to wrap around the taller man’s waist and draw him in deeper. Jared thrust hard down into him, pulling back and snapping his hips forward over and over, those low growls echoing between them as he moved. Jensen had never been fucked so hard in his life and he’d definitely never felt anything better. “Fuck, Jared, _god_.”

Jared held himself up on one shaking arm and slid the other into Jensen’s hair, holding his gaze so he could see his face. There was pleasure, lust, want, need -- all those words Jared had learned described the way Jensen’s face looked.

And then he was lost again in the slick heat. He couldn’t stop moving, slamming his cock so hard into Jensen, pushing each moan and cry out of his mate.

Jensen’s eyes locked on Jared, staying fixed on dark hazel, his lips parted in a silent cry. He could feel all the emotions racing through Jared, could see them on his face, in his eyes. Even if he wasn’t completely certain that Jared understood the word ‘love’, staring at him now, he had no doubt that the man felt it.

Hand lifting to Jared’s wrist, Jensen squeezed and tugged him down, body rocking up into each thrust following. “Touch me, Jared, please. S-so close, please.”

Somehow, Jensen’s words got through the mind-numbing pleasure Jared could feel welling inside him. His fingers curled quickly around his mate’s cock and he stroking in rhythm with his thrusts. “Jensen, I-”

Crying out, Jared’s entire body arched back as his hips drove forward to slam against Jensen’s body one last time as he came.

The heat of Jared’s release filling him was enough to pull all the air from Jensen’s lungs. The strokes on his erection faltered but Jensen didn’t care, his release was already burning through him, back arching up into Jared’s heat, hands sliding down his lover’s sweat-damp skin.

Jensen’s legs dropped from around Jared’s waist, his chest shaking with each deep, almost painful breath.

“Jared,” he whispered, sliding his fingers back through Jared’s hair.

Jared shifted back and slid from his mate’s body then let out a small moan and fell forward. Jensen’s come was hot and wet under him and he gasped again, his tongue slipping past his lips to lap at the salty-bitter fluid.

It took Jensen far too long to catch his breath, likely because Jared’s tongue was still moving over his skin, cleaning him in such a way that Jensen nearly felt like he was being worshipped. His fingers ghosted through Jared’s hair in slow, gentle slides.

“Jared, come kiss me,” he breathed softly, arching slightly to encourage Jared up.

Crawling up Jensen’s body, Jared smiled slightly. His eyes felt tired and all his muscles were shaking. When he made it to Jensen’s lips, he moaned into the kiss as he fell against his mate’s body. Gliding his tongue forward, Jared slid his arm around Jensen’s neck and held on.

They kissed slowly and languidly, tongues brushing, lips constantly moving. Jensen had to add this to another of his _nevers_. He’d never been kissed so thoroughly, never been fucked so hard, never _felt_ like this. Jensen had known before but now there wasn’t a doubt in his mind: he could never lose Jared.

Breaking back from the kiss, Jensen let his lips move along Jared’s cheek, over the bridge of his nose, along his forehead.

“Wasn’t that amazing?” Jensen murmured, massaging his fingers down Jared’s back.

“Amazing,” Jared echoed. His fingers were in Jensen’s hair, his leg draped across the other man’s thighs. “If you leave me, I won’t... I won’t be able to breathe. Say you’ll never go.”

“I’ll never go,” Jensen whispered, eyes falling closed, small smile on his lips. “I can’t imagine ever having anyone better; why would I want that?”

“I just- feel- it feels much... I don’t know.” Jared gave up and sank back down to Jensen’s body. “I can be alone -- but I can’t be alone from you.”

“Love, Jared; that’s what you’re feeling. You love me, you’re meant to be with me.” Jensen sighed softly, shifting to nuzzle against Jared’s body. “I know it feels like too much maybe, too intense, but love... it’s the best kind of feeling.”

“Love.” Jared tilted his chin up until he could see Jensen’s face. “Love is good. But -- can I just love you?”

“I’d expect you only to love me,” Jensen murmured, laughing softly. “I will only love you.”

“Good then. Settled,” Jared nodded and smirked. Jensen said things were settled all the time.

Jensen grinned and shifted closer, his body nearly flush against Jared’s now. “So, you liked that enough to do it again, yeah?”

“Yes. Just let me rest -- and… a little while.” Jared grinned and rolled further over Jensen’s body.

“I meant- oh, never mind,” Jensen snorted and shook his head. That was fine, Jared could wake him up for sex in the middle of the night if he wanted; Jensen was completely okay with that. “Sleep now?”

“MMhmmm.” Jared pulled his mate closer, paused, then reached down for the discarded covers and tugged them up. “I spoil you,” he said softly.

Jensen smiled sleepily, curling against Jared’s body. “Because you’re so wonderful.”

Jared nestled closer and hummed softly.

-=-=-=-

Once more, Jensen found himself losing track of days, which was perfectly okay because everything was simply _Jared_. The man redefined the word ‘passionate’ -- when Jensen told him that, Jared’s smile was more than pleased. They had sex _everywhere_ , breaking down the last of Jensen’s ingrained inhibitions.

It was impossible to describe, the way it felt to simply be taken by Jared, wherever and whenever the man wanted. In the middle of the jungle, at the edge of the lake, along the ocean shore. Jensen’s body was always craving Jared’s, and it seemed Jared felt exactly the same. Neither grew tired of the other and Jensen was fairly certain that was a sign of their perfection.

As Jensen grew more comfortable with the jungle, Jared allowed him to do more things on his own. Not that Jensen didn’t want to spend every second with Jared, but he understood the man occasionally needed some time to himself, and Jared could hunt and gather different supplies if he could travel further and faster.

If Jensen had to guess, he would say he had been with Jared for over a month. It might have been shorter but it felt like an entire lifetime. Jensen hardly even thought of his old life any longer, knowing that even if a few people questioned where he’d disappeared to, no one would put forth too much energy into finding him.

In fact, Jensen was so accustomed to the idea of things just being him and Jared, that he was actually a little scared when the sound of a boat motor had him looking up from the fish he was cleaning. Jared had taught him the art of fishing, in both the ocean and the river, but that wasn’t the point at the moment.

Jensen should have -- could have -- turned and run into the jungle, leaving his fish for the other animals, but something kept him rooted to the spot. It wasn’t until the boat was coming to a stop that he realized it was Jared keeping him from moving, or, well, the thought of him. If these people were searching for him -- which seemed likely -- and he ran, they would continue to search. The possibility of them finding Jared, _hurting_ Jared, was too much for his mind to allow.

“Excuse me, sir, are you Jensen Ackles?” The man who stepped off the boat first carried a shotgun, which was really overkill as far as Jensen was concerned.

Lips pursing, Jensen stood and brushed his hands along his animal hide covering. “I am. Can I help you with something?”

“Sir, I need you to come with us.” The man nodded his head back and Jensen glanced at the two other men stepping off the boat. The one speaking was the only one with a weapon but the other two seemed ready for a fight.

Jensen stepped back, his fingers curling into fists at his sides. “And why would that be?”

“Staying on this island is a violation of the protection act, Mr. Ackles. I’m uncertain who told you being here was fine before but it is not allowed. So if you’ll simply come with us we’ll take you back to the mainland and get this sorted out.”

If the man was trying to sound convincing and calm, he wasn’t doing a very good job. Instead, Jensen felt the man’s irritation, watched the way the three were stalking toward him with gleaming eyes. For the first time in weeks, Jensen felt too exposed, his heart quickening with the slightest twinge of fear.

They couldn’t take him. Not now. Jared would never know; Jared would be left alone, and Jensen could not do that to him. So even as they stepped closer, he shook his head and stepped back, preparing himself to bolt.

It must have been apparent on his face, the urge to flee, because just as he turned, the butt of the shotgun was driving hard into his side and Jensen cried out in pain. He stumbled forward, dropping to his knees as a pair of hands dug hard into his arms.

“Jared!” He screamed his lover’s name, eyes shooting along the line of tears, searching for just one final glimpse of the man he loved. “Jared! Don’t- Stay! Stay!” His calls had to be confusing, he knew, but Jared would be exposed if he came out to rescue Jensen. If these men dragged him off, he could pay off fines then find another way back to the island without anyone knowing.

If they caught Jared, though, he would be thrown in jail or something. Jensen didn’t know. But the very idea was terrifying. And even as he struggled against the men dragging him off, his eyes caught sight of the trees and his stomach plummeted. Of course Jared would come save him, because he was that amazing, and Jensen screamed as he was thrown down on the sand, a foot pressed into his back.

Jared had been returning when he had heard the distant hum of an engine. It wasn’t the day for the supply boat and the others had stopped coming to visit the island because of the storms. It should have been the time of year that meant Jared and Jensen had the land to themselves.

There was no way that sound could mean anything good.

Stashing the supplies he had been bringing back for Jensen, Jared fell into a steady run down toward the beach. The moment he heard the first cry of his name, his blood had run cold. He’d never heard fear in Jensen’s voice before but he recognized it immediately. Something was very wrong.

As fast as he could run, Jared sped through the undergrowth and leaped over fallen trees until he could make out the forms of men on the sand.

He heard another frantic cry from Jensen but all his words were lost in the surge of fierce protectiveness that swelled in him.

Calling out Jensen’s name, Jared exploded out of the trees and ran straight at the nearest man. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Jensen face-down on the sand and fighting to try and get free. Then Jared’s body slammed hard into the first stranger’s and they flew backwards a few feet and landed in a tangle of limbs. Yelling for Jensen again, Jared felt the stranger’s fist glance off his jaw and spun quickly to smack his forearm against the side of the man’s head.

Before the stranger even hit the ground, Jared was in motion again, leaping over the fallen man and diving at the legs of another.

He saw Jensen’s eyes still full of fear and for a fraction of a second he lost his focus. Twisting the wrong way, he rolled into the open and suddenly he was reeling in pain. Something connected hard with his head and he could feel the warmth of blood trickling down onto his shoulder.

“Jen,” he gasped.

His mate’s face swam before him for a few seconds and he reached out but the world and Jensen disappeared in an ocean of black.

“Stop it!” Jensen screamed and lurched forward, struggling against the arms wrapped around his middle. The sight of blood sliding over Jared’s richly tanned skin made his stomach churn and Jensen fought hard against the man holding him back, blinking away the tears in his eyes. “Leave him alone; don’t fucking touch him!”

With a final jerk back, Jensen was able to kick his leg hard into the man’s crotch, diving forward when the man released him with a hiss of pain. Jensen stumbled and slid across the sand, collapsing by Jared and quickly lifting his head from the sand. “Jared, Jared, come on, baby, wake up, please.”

“Mr. Ack-”

“Shut up,” Jensen hissed and knocked the hand back that was reaching out to grab him. There was warm, sticky blood on his fingers and Jensen’s heart lurched painfully hard in his chest. “If he- if he dies- I’ll fucking kill you.”

Apparently, that was enough for the men; they must have reached their breaking point with Jensen. In the next moment, the butt of the man’s gun drove hard against the back of his head and Jensen slumped forward onto his lover’s body.

-=-=-=-

When Jensen woke, it was with a splitting headache and to the sound of distant beeping. His vision was blurring around the edges and it took Jensen a long few minutes to remember what happened. When he did, everything came rushing back to him with a hard slam in his gut.

“Jared,” he gasped and strained forward on the hospital bed, struggling against the IV holding him in place.

“Mr. Ackles? Please, calm down; just relax a minute.” The man who opened the door and hurried into the room was different from the ones on the island. He was dressed in a business suit and his accent wasn’t nearly as thick or hard to understand. “Jared? Is that the name of the man on the island with you?”

Jensen couldn’t think beyond the facts he did know; this man had to be some type of cop, and Jensen was in trouble for being on the island. Jared had to be in a different sort of trouble, especially when they learned he basically had no identity. At the very best, they’d lock him up in some psych ward or something. At the worst? Jensen couldn’t even imagine the possibilities.

“Mr. Ackles?” The man cleared his throat once more, lifting a badge and confirming Jensen’s suspicions. “My name is Detective Jones, and if you know about that man from the island, I need you to tell me. You both being there is a violation of-”

“The protective laws; yeah, yeah, I know.” Jensen shot the cop a look and swallowed thickly, shaking his head. Maybe if he didn’t tell them anything, it would buy him some time. He needed some time to figure things out, to figure out a way to spare Jared all of this. “Look, I know I wasn’t supposed to be there. I was working on a school thing and... I’ll pay whatever fine or whatever.”

The cop flipped open and notebook, writing a few things down on the pages. Jensen tried not to fidget too much as the cop moved. He was terrified about Jared’s safety, more than eager to see him, but he couldn’t let on to that now. He’d figure out a way to get to him, once he was free.

“And the man? The others said he was quite violent with them- and that you knew his name.”

Jensen swallowed the rise of bile that came moments before his words, his head slowly shaking from side to side.

“I-I don’t know him. I mean, I thought I’d seen him, interacted- I don’t- I just hate seeing any violence to people. So, whoever he is, I don’t know.” This was for the best, Jensen quietly insisted to himself. After all, if he let on to knowing Jared, they might keep him locked up to get answers.

The cop stared at him for a long moment, disbelief clear on his face. “And the fact that you were both wearing the same garment?”

“I found it. Guess it belonged to him.” Jensen shrugged and blew out a low breath, eyeing the man. “Am I under arrest?”

“What? Do you think you’ve warranted something that requires an arrest?”

Jensen’s shoulders tensed and he stared up at the cop, his jaw clenched. “I _think_ I’m an American citizen who has rights, even here, and unless I’m under arrest, you can’t just question me like this. So give me the ticket; I’ll pay the fine and hop back on a plane to the United States.”

The cop stared at him for a long moment, as if Jensen would crack under his hard glare, then slowly nodded. “You see that you do that.”

With that, he turned and left the room, just barely slamming the door behind him. Jensen sank back onto the bed, sucking in a slow, uneven breath. The idea of Jared being alone, terrified, was almost enough to have him breaking out of the hospital, and only the knowledge that he had to have some kind of _plan_ kept him rooted to the spot.

He would get to Jared, he would save him, because this was the real world and Jensen could take care of the man he loved. It was his turn to rescue him.

-=-=-=-

In the end, it took almost a week -- and more favors than he thought imaginable -- for Jensen to get to Jared. Although Jensen didn’t know that many people in the real world, the ones he did know were significant to be helpful. He contacted his Professor who knew locals and was able to put some of his own contacts into use, after learning the entire story, of course -- and discovering that the jungle man was real had been reward enough for him.

Jensen had hired a private guide to take him to the island again the day after he was released from the hospital. It was painful, to hike up to the cave and be reminded of Jared with every step he took. But his personal belongings were there and a few of the items he couldn’t do without. He gathered Jared’s things as well, just in case, and tried not to think about the possibility that he might never seen the man again.

That couldn’t happen in Jensen’s mind.

Jensen paid a ridiculous amount of money for two IDs -- one a US passport that would read ‘Jared Ackles’ that only needed a picture to be complete, and the other an ID for the hospital. His Professor’s contacts were able to verify that Jared was being kept in the psych ward of the hospital, though there was no word on his condition. Jensen wasn’t sure he wanted to know; as it was, his patience was already being stretched to its maximum.

The last of his money was spent on two first class airline tickets. It was risky, getting Jared out of the country, but Jensen had nowhere safe to keep him and they wouldn’t be able to return to the island. Not for a while, at least. What Jensen did have was a home once belonging to his parents: a cabin by a lake, in seclusion in the middle of the forest. It would give Jared the solitude he would crave and they would be safe, free to live together for the rest of their lives.

The morning of their flight, Jensen headed to the hospital. Everything had to run smoothly for this to work. Which meant he had to get Jared out of the hospital, changed into the normal clothes he had stashed in the car, over to the contact who was waiting for Jared’s picture to complete the passport, and to the airport. All without alerting any authorities.

Jensen was a student of mythology. He was _not_ some secret special agent or something. As it was, he was lucky he kept his hand from shaking as he stepped up to the psych ward attendant and flashed the cop ID that was the perfect replica of the real thing.

“I’m here to speak with a patient. Jared Doe, I believe?” He tried to look preoccupied, annoyed at being here, and he barely glanced at the girl when she scoffed.

“You mean the giant freak? He’s still not talking to anyone; won’t eat. Is he finally being transferred?”

It was the best opening Jensen could hope for and he tried to ignore the nurse’s words. _Not talking. Won’t eat._ God, his poor Jared; Jensen only prayed he wasn’t too late. “Yeah, transfer. They said I could handle it on my own.”

“Oh yeah, he’s completely docile. Follow me.” The nurse stood, a file clutched in her hand as she led him down the hall. She buzzed them into the back wing and Jensen tried not to look at each heavy metal door with the sense of paranoia he felt. “So, this your first one? You seem awfully young...”

“Doin’ my partner a favor by takin’ care of things myself,” Jensen shrugged, trying to harden up his voice some. When the nurse stopped at a door and looked at him, Jensen forced a smirk and shrugged. “His wife just got back from a two week vacation. You know how it goes.”

“Oh yeah, I do.” The nurse batted her lashes, giving Jensen a warm, flirtatious smile.

Jensen forced himself to return the smile, touching the girl’s arm softly. “So you understand then how much the paperwork sucks. Just wanna drop this... freak off at the station, and maybe I could come back to do the paperwork.” The smile on the girl’s face dropped slightly and Jensen reached out, sliding her hair back behind her ear. “Maybe you’ll still be here and I can take you out for a drink, you know, as a thank you.”

When a giggle fell from the girl’s lips, Jensen knew he’d convinced her. She nodded and said something about her name and working until two but Jensen tuned her out. Because she was unlocking the door and pulling it open and Jensen’s heart skipped a beat.

Jared was curled in a ball on the bed, his back to the door, and Jensen nearly felt sick. He used every ounce of restraint he had to keep his steps slow as he crossed the room.

“Hey,” he called out, mainly to fool the girl still watching at the door, and stooped down in front of Jared’s bed, eyes shooting to the door. “Just gimme a minute, doll; gonna get him set up for transport then I’ll be out.”

She hesitated a moment and Jensen strengthened his smile for her, flexing his arms like he was trying to impress her. She giggled a little and stepped back, letting the door fall shut. The minute it snicked closed, Jensen reached out, grabbing Jared and pulling him up into his arms.

“Jared, Jared, baby, I’m here. Can you hear me? Jared, it’s me, Jensen.” Jensen’s hands fluttered over Jared’s arms, up into his messy hair. He seemed too cold, too scrawny, like the life had been sucked out of him, and Jensen barely held back tears. “Come on, Jared, it’s me. Your mate. Your Jensen.”

Jared was confused. The voice sounded so familiar that he could feel tears in his eyes instantly. But the place was hurting him and he was so sure that he was just seeing things, hearing the voice he missed so desperately.

Jensen’s fingers slid over Jared’s jaw, back through his dirty hair. He hated these people for not taking care of Jared, for keeping him locked up like this.

“Jare, c’mon, only got a few minutes here; come back to me.” He was desperate to get Jared from this place, to take him somewhere safe.

Blinking, Jared rubbed at his eyes and looked up slowly. His fingers reached out shakily for the strange clothing. As his eyes trailed up the man’s chest, Jared leaned into the first tender touch he had felt in days. “Jensen?”

“Yeah.” Jensen smiled widely even as his eyes blurred with tears. “Yeah, baby, I’m here. We’re gonna get you out of here now, okay? I’m gonna take you somewhere safe.” Jensen glanced toward the door, his heart quickening at the prospect they might be caught like this. He had to risk it, though, dipping forward to brush his lips over Jared’s rougher, chapped ones. “You ready to go with me?”

Jared’s fingers felt for the familiar long hair but it was shorter; it was like someone had made time go back.

“Can we go home now? I tried...” Days of desperation and fear crashed down on Jared and he tried to pull Jensen into his arms. “I’m sorry. They were hurting you and I was scared and-” His voice was consumed by a sob and he pulled himself closer to Jensen.

“Hey, Jared, come on, it’s okay. Just- just a little longer, okay? I promise I’m going to make it all better. You trust me, right? You believe me?” There was too much to explain to Jared right now, he needed to focus on getting the man up to his feet and taking him from the hospital. If they could just get on the plane, out of the country, things would be okay. Jensen wasn’t ever letting go of Jared again.

“Home? Back to just you and me?” Jared pulled back slightly and peered into Jensen’s eyes. Leaf green and sad. “Home, okay?”

“Jared... we can’t go back to the island. Not for a while. They’ll be looking for you. But we’re going to a new home. It’ll be in a forest, right by a lake, and no one’s around for hundreds of miles. It’s beautiful, the cabin there. I promise you’ll love it, but you have to trust me to get you there. Okay?” Jensen gave his lover a sad smile, running his fingers over the man’s rough, stubble-covered jaw.

Jared thought about the beaches and the sun, all the paths that he knew so well. The idea of never going back there was terrifying.

“My treasure.” He hadn’t used that word to describe his things since the first day he spoke to Jensen. But all he had to remember his mother and father by was in that small cave he couldn’t go back to.

“I got everything from the cave; I have it all waiting for us.” There was a clatter at the door and Jensen looked up, swallowing thickly and standing. “Jared, I know it’s a lot and I promise we’ll stop for a moment to discuss this but the nurse is coming back and I need you to pretend like you don’t know me, like I’m just a cop here to take you away. Can you please do that for me? Just for a few minutes?”

“Pretend?” Jared’s eyes darted over his shoulder toward the door and he pushed up with his feet until he was sitting. “I won’t say anything,” he said softly.

Closing his eyes, Jared pulled his fingers back slowly from Jensen’s jacket and crossed his arms tightly.

“Just a few minutes,” Jensen whispered, touching Jared’s arm once more then leading the way across the room just as the door opened. The nurse smiled at him, her shoulders stiffening slightly as she looked toward Jared. “He’s gonna behave; we had a good chat. So I’ll see you later then?”

“Definitely.” She beamed at him and Jensen felt mildly guilty about leading her on but he could see the door at the end of the hallway and couldn’t help quickening his step to it.

Reaching behind him, Jensen grasped Jared’s forearm, and the moment the nurse had the hall door open, he was leading the taller man across the waiting room, pressing the button on the elevator. As they stepped inside and the doors slid shut, Jensen dropped Jared’s arm and slid in to wrap him in a tight hug instead. “We’re gonna be okay now, I promise.”

Jared buried his face in Jensen’s neck and breathed in as deeply as he could.

“Smell different,” he murmured. “It’s all _so_ different.” Shivering slightly, Jared tucked his fingers over the collar of Jensen’s shirt to feel the familiar smooth warmth of his skin.

“I know. And it’s going to be different for a while, I’m sorry. But soon, soon it’ll just be me and you again.” Jensen slid back slightly, knowing the elevator would stop soon. He cupped Jared’s jaw until the big man met his gaze. “Jared, a lot of things are going to happen today and it might be a little scary to you. But you _have_ to trust me. I will always be at your side, and in the end, it will be for the best. Okay?”

Jared’s eyes flitted up to the lights moving over the door for a moment and then Jensen’s fingers squeezed his cheeks slightly. Blinking slowly, Jared looked back at his mate and nodded. Terrified, exhausted and completely lost, Jared would put all of his trust in the man standing in front of him. “Can I touch you? Outside here?”

“Yes, as long as it’s appropriate.” Jensen laughed softly and stepped back as the elevator dinged and opened. He didn’t spare a glance at the people they passed, taking Jared’s arm instead and heading for the car across the lot that he’d borrowed. He stopped at the passenger door, turning to Jared and smiling softly. “Okay, now that you’re out of there, we’ve got a few things to do before going to the US. Do you want me to explain it all now or should we just go? You must be starving; I brought some fruit.”

Jared’s eyes moved to a vehicle that went speeding past, then to a group of young people who were laughing as they passed by.

“I wanna go,” Jared said softly. Taking a step closer, Jared leaned into Jensen, eyes wide and trembling.

Jensen’s arms slid around Jared and he held him close for a long moment, turning to brush his lips along Jared’s cheek. “I love you, Jared. You still love me?”

Tears welled in Jared’s eyes again.

“I l-love you. I kept trying to get away but they gave me...” Jared rubbed a hand down his face and flinched as something loud and metal-sounding went past them. “Medicine; they gave me pills… and I got mixed up. Jensen, don’t-” Jared flinched again at another sound, his eyes darting around them, unable to process all the things he was seeing.

“Okay, okay, Jared.” Jensen inhaled shakily and placed his hands on either side of Jared’s jaw, forcing their gazes together once more. “So today, like I said, it might be scary sometimes and you might feel overwhelmed, but I am _not_ leaving your side. If you get scared, or you need a minute of silence, just squeeze my hand or grab my arm or something. Sound okay? We’ll get through this together.”

Trying to slow his breathing, Jared nodded slowly. He tried to just stare at the leaf-green eyes he had missed so much. Lifting his hand slowly, Jared trailed a finger over the freckles on Jensen’s cheek.

“They didn’t come off,” he said quietly.

“No,” Jensen laughed softly and caught Jared’s hand, pressing a soft kiss to his fingers. “They never will. Now, let’s get out of here. I want you all to myself as soon as possible.”

There was so much to do to get Jared better, Jensen just hoped the man would be able to survive through the course of the day.


	4. Chapter 4

The man who made Jared’s passport was named Roger and he was quite possibly the freakiest person Jensen had ever met. As a result, Jensen had acted like a human shield between them as much as possible. But the guy had also turned out to be oddly nice, letting Jared -- and consequently Jensen -- use the shower and his razor. Jensen hadn’t planned on showering with Jared but the plumbing startled Jared and Jensen really didn’t mind sliding up against his water-slick body to clean him off.

Jensen made Jared sit on the counter as he shaved him and trimmed his hair, making him look as presentable as he could without changing too much about the man he loved. It only took Roger an hour to put the passport the rest of the way together and Jensen was startled, a little freaked out by how easy it had been. Sure, it cost him nearly six hundred dollars, but in the long run it was worth it.

Before they left for the airport, Jensen managed to get Jared to eat some fruit and drink some water. He thought of all the food items he could share with his lover that he’d never had but Jared’s system was already so weak, Jensen didn’t want to overload it with fats and processed crap his body had never experienced.

Roger drove them in a rental car to the airport and Jensen was relieved, even more so when Jared laid against his side and slept for the hour drive. He knew his lover needed sleep, especially considering what was coming, and he only hoped they could make it through the rest of the day -- or that the airplane ride wouldn’t completely freak Jared out.

Jensen thanked Roger as he dropped them off and promised to take the car back to the rental place. So even if the guy was a little creepy, he’d turned out to be very helpful, and Jensen smiled his gratitude as he helped Jared out of the back seat, clutching his bag in one hand and Jared’s hand in the other.

The big man was looking around with wide eyes, pressing against Jensen’s side, and Jensen sighed softly. “Do you know where we are?”

Jared stayed as close as he could to Jensen’s side, trying to keep his gaze focused on his freckles, his eyes -- anything but all the swirling movement around them. Shaking his head, he tightened his fingers on Jensen’s hand. “No, yes, is this -- where the plane is?”

Jensen had tried to tell Jared how they were getting to their new home but as hard as Jared tried, he just couldn’t understand some of it.

“Yes, all the planes are here. We can check in for our flight then we’ll walk around and maybe watch some of the planes take off. How does that sound?” Jensen was hoping to appeal to some of Jared’s curiosity but mostly the man just continued to seem overwhelmed. “You can hold my hand the entire time.”

Pushing a smile onto his lips, Jared nodded and looked over to where the people were going inside the big building. It was bigger even than the hospital Jared had been at. “And we have to go in the plane, right?”

“Right, we’ll get on the plane and we’ll fly a... pretty far away.” Jensen nodded and glanced at his watch before leading Jared into the airport. “We have to check in, so they know we’re getting on the plane. You just stay with me and remember what I told you, about the passport.”

“We’re married. Like mates. But don’t say mate.” Jared’s smile warmed and he leaned in to kiss Jensen’s bottom lip.

“Right, and your name is?” Jensen slipped his arm around Jared’s waist, pleased at Jared’s soft kiss.

“Jared Ackles. I’m your… husband.” Jared’s eyes blinked rapidly as a loud noise sounded from above.

Jensen reached up, touching Jared’s cheek as they stepped up to the line to check in. “Yes, you’re my husband. Oh, _oh._ ” Jensen slid his pack across his chest, digging his hand into the front pocket and pulling out two rings. “I wasn’t planning on things happening like this, you know, I mean- oh never mind. Here.” He took Jared’s left hand and slid the ring on, slipping an identical ring on his own left ring finger. “It has to look- that’s so people know. That we’re married.”

Jared pushed at the ring of metal that felt snug on his skin. “Is it real? Are you really mine?”

“Yes, absolutely.” Jensen smiled up at Jared, turning to press a kiss to the man’s shoulder. “As far as the world is concerned, you are now my husband and that is something I want for life. Like you. So, yeah.”

“Okay. That’s- that’s good. Mate- Husbands.” Jared pushed at the sleeve of the _t-shirt_ he was wearing. It was very soft but it felt strange to be wearing so much cloth on his body. “Can I take this off on the plane?”

Jensen laughed softly and shook his head. “I’m sorry, no. The, uh, shirt is required while in public. But I promise once we get to the cabin, you can wear as little as possible.” He glanced behind him at the snort of laughter he heard and smiled at the girls there before turning back to Jared -- his _husband_. “I got us good seats, though, so we’ll be able to lay down and sleep.”

“Together?” Jared’s eyes moved over to the girls for a moment but when they smiled at him, he just blushed and turned his gaze back to Jensen. “I don’t want to be away from you.”

“Yeah, we’ll be right by each other. It’s a long flight so we’ll sleep for a big chunk of it.” Jensen blew out a long breath as they finally got to the front of the line. “Okay, let me do most of the talking.”

Judging from the look on Jared’s face, that wasn’t going to be much of an issue. Jensen had been hyping himself up to this, prepared for a whole slew of questions, but there weren’t any outside the standard. Checking in was easy, especially since Jensen was keeping the only bag they had -- to reassure Jared with his _treasures_ if need be.

It took another hour to get through the security line and Jensen almost thought they were screwed when it came time to go through the metal detector and Jared looked close to freaking out. But he waited on the other side and smiled encouragingly at his lover until the man was stepping through and taking his hand once more.

Once they’d cleared customs, Jensen finally let himself breathe easier, taking Jared’s hand and pulling him toward a secluded part of the airport. He pressed the taller man against the wall and stepped into him, wrapping arms tightly around him and laying his head on Jared’s chest. “That was the hardest part.”

Jared’s fingers curled into Jensen’s hair and he leaned down to kiss the shorter man’s forehead. He’d been keeping track, running over what he could remember Jensen telling him. “Not apart anymore and I can take my shoes off soon, right?”

“Right,” Jensen murmured, tilting his head up toward the big man. “Jared?” he hummed softly, sliding his fingers along Jared’s neck.

“Uhhuh?” Jared squeezed his eyes shut and tried to just think about Jensen and the way it felt to have him back in his arms. If he could manage it -- he was never letting the man go again.

“You should really kiss me now,” Jensen whispered, lips twitching in a soft smile. The last week of working harder than he ever had in his entire life was catching up with him and he couldn’t help but feel relieved. They were hours away from being safe up in the air, away from any threat, and Jensen was trying his hardest to hold them both up through it all.

Smiling softly, Jared turned his face quickly and caught Jensen’s mouth under his. The smaller man’s lips were soft and full, and tasted _perfect_. Even after all the frightening changes Jared had been through, kissing Jensen was still like being _home_.

Jared moaned quietly, his fingers moving down Jensen’s sides to slip under his shirt. He pushed at it impatiently until his palms were able to slide around to press against the shorter man’s back.

A deep moan rocked through Jensen and he pressed forward, temporarily forgetting where they were, and how they couldn’t really get away with doing anything more. As Jared’s hands started to slip down beneath his jeans, Jensen pulled back, grinning up at Jared and sliding a hand back through his hair. “We can’t have sex in the airport.”

“Why not?” Jared pulled Jensen forward by hooking his fingers over his waistband. “I don’t care if people see. We’re husbands.” Jared was trying to cling to what he _knew_ , and what he _knew_ was how Jensen made him feel; the tingling, burn of needing the man to touch him.

“No, no, Jared; it doesn’t work that way.” Jensen sighed softly, his smile turning to something fond and soft. “Sex is... it’s an intimate thing, meant to stay just between husbands, okay? If we did that where other people could see, it would be like sharing me, sharing us. You don’t want that, right? Don’t you want me just to be yours?” He was taking this route first and hoping Jared would agree because explaining _laws_ was something he’d rather not get into.

Jared sighed but he nodded. There were so many things to remember in this _other_ place. “Okay, but I still want you,” he muttered. “Just alone. When we’re alone. At our home? Is it going to be our home?”

“Yes, it will be our home, and the minute we step inside, Jared, I am all yours for the taking.” Jensen chuckled for another moment then leaned in, pressing his lips beneath Jared’s jaw. “We’ll spend some time at the cabin, just you and me, and you can see how you like it. But if you don’t... I... we’ll figure something out, Jared. If you’re unhappy there, I’ll try and figure out a way for us to come back, okay?” Pulling back a little, Jensen looked up at Jared, a little worried he was overloading him. “You’ll be happy with me, though, right? I... I’m not hurting you more by taking you away, am I?”

“You make me happy,” Jared said quietly. Jared was _hurting_ but it wasn’t Jensen who caused it. So many things had changed, were messed up and confusing. “You said mine forever. Home -- it’s you. I promise I will be happy.” Jared tried to look less fearful even though his heart was pounding.

“Okay. You... you don’t have to be happy right now, if you’re not. It just gives me something to work toward, to make things better for you. As long as you know I love you with all my heart and still plan on spending the rest of my life with you.” Jensen leaned up to brush gentle kisses over Jared’s lips, shaking off the urge to collapse under the weight he was carrying. He had to do this for Jared, for _them_ , and he could do that.

Nodding slightly, Jared was distracted for a heartbeat by a small child and he leaned in closer to Jensen. “Will there be snow?”

“Yeah, in the winter months. We’ll get warmer things to wear, though, for when it’s snowing. We can still hunt and gather; there will just be new food to learn.” Jensen inhaled shakily, not sure he was saying anything really that comforting. “Are you hungry? We could try and find some food.”

Jared shook his head and looked around cautiously. The crowd had thinned out slightly and people were sitting down.

“Can I have some water?” His mouth felt dry and raw like he’d been swallowing rocks.

“Yeah.” Jensen nodded slowly and took Jared’s hand. He led him toward a row of seats by a large window, waiting until Jared sat before slowly dipping down and kissing him. Before the man could protest, he turned and paced quickly to the nearest shop, never moving out of Jared’s line of sight.

Less than five minutes later, he was sitting beside Jared once more, removing the cap from a bottle of water and offering it to his... husband. It was going to take a while to get used to referring to him that way. Once Jared had taken the bottle, Jensen reached into the bag again, pulling out a small chocolate bar.

“Want a piece of chocolate?” He smiled hopefully at Jared, praying that something would get a smile on her lover’s face again.

Jared nodded, lips curling into a tight smile. It was strange seeing Jensen dressed differently, strange wearing clothes that felt so tight. People were walking behind them every so often and Jared had to resist the urge to keep staring over his shoulder. “Will there be chocolate at our home?”

Looking down at the chocolate bar, Jensen nodded slowly, unwrapping it and breaking off a piece. It was hard not feel like he was tearing Jared from the only home he’d ever known. _Technically_ this was all his fault; Jared’s entire life would have been peaceful if he’d never come along. “We can get chocolate. We’ll have to get some supplies on the way there. Maybe ice cream too; I’m sure you’ve never had that.”

It didn’t even sound familiar but Jared didn’t feel like playing their usual game of asking what words were. Looking down at the chocolate, he took it slowly and put it into his mouth. For some reason, it didn’t taste as good in the strange building with all the noises around them. “Jensen?”

“Yeah?” Jensen whispered, looking over at Jared with rapidly saddening eyes. It was all sinking in now, what this all really would mean to Jared, and Jensen shifted closer, hoping it might make it just a little bit better.

“You won’t leave again, right? I won’t know -- I mean, things are so different here. Not like hom- like before.” Jared’s fingers had slipped back over Jensen’s wrist. He couldn’t handle _not_ touching his mate, it felt a little like it was the only thing keeping him from running. The sad thing was that he didn’t even know where he would run.

Jensen’s eyes watered, pricking with tears, and he looked away, blowing out a low breath and leaning into Jared. “I won’t ever leave you, Jared, I promise.” He wouldn’t have in the first place, if he had any control over it. “Jared? Do you- I could try and figure out a way to get you back to the island. It might be hard, and I’m not completely sure we could do it, but the look on your face is breaking my heart and I don’t want to be the reason you feel so much pain and sadness.”

Blinking, Jared felt a tear sliding hotly down his cheek. “You? Jensen -- you’re the only _right_ thing. Yes, I want to go back -- you said one day, maybe? But never without you. Never.” Not caring anymore if anyone was watching, Jare flung his arms around his mate’s neck and pulled him in close. “It’s not your fault. You’re fixing this.”

“It is my fault,” Jensen whispered, turning so his lips moved through Jared’s hair. “I burst into your world, I changed your whole life, I almost got you killed because of it.” Jensen wrapped his arms tightly around Jared, sucking in deep breaths of his lover’s scent. It was different, smelling like soap and the airport. “And I’m so selfish I can’t even face the possibility of being without you.”

“Jensen, you made me have life again.” Jared’s voice trembled. It was the first time that he ever felt frustrated that he couldn’t speak as well as Jensen. “I could have hidden away, but -- I… I wanted you back, from them. They were hurting you and I…” Jared shook his head.

“I know, I know; you tried so hard to save me.” Jensen inhaled shakily, pulling back enough to lay his palm on Jared’s jaw. “And I wouldn’t trade having you for anything in the world, but I wish it didn’t mean taking you from your home. But maybe you’ll like the cabin? We can swim naked in the lake when it’s warm enough. And... I could teach you more words; I could teach you to read words and write them, even, if you wanted to. We can hike and build fires outside. I promise to make it the best home I can, okay?”

Jared covered his mate’s hand and pressed it hard against his cheek. “A dog, that might make me feel better.” He tried not to smile as he teased Jensen but he couldn’t help it. “There are dogs at lakes, right?”

Forcing a laugh, Jensen nodded, rubbing a hand along his neck. “Okay, we can get a dog. We’ll get a puppy so you can train him. I’ll even let you pick him out.”

“You are the best thing I could find in the world,” Jared said softly. His lips found Jensen’s again and he brushed them over his mate’s gently.

“Me too, Jared.” Jensen smiled and leaned forward, deepening the kiss for a long moment. “So you think I can make you happy then? Make up from taking you from your home?”

“Nothing to make up, but you make me happy. It will be so much happy we’ll -- dance or something.” Jared smiled against Jensen’s cheek. It was one of the things that Jensen had promised: to teach Jared how to dance.

“Yes, we’ll do everything you could possibly imagine.” Jensen laughed softly and shifted forward, bringing Jared in for another slow kiss. “Name it and it’s yours.” Jensen was already wrapped around Jared’s finger, and now even more so. “We should walk a little before the flight. There’s gonna be a lot of sitting.”

“Can we stay...” Jared looked around briefly and then dropped his gaze back to meet Jensen’s. “Can we stay away from them? Just you and me walking.” Jared stood slowly, trying to keep from staring around them. His arms trailed down Jensen’s arms and he pulled the shorter man up with him.

Jensen nodded, shifting around so Jared walked between him and the window, keeping him from getting any closer to the people they passed. He didn’t know if Jared would be able to handle any more stress, so he was going to work his hardest to protect the man from all he could.

-=-=-=-

The flight was incredibly long but it didn’t take Jared too long to crash. The take-off had been a little nerve-wracking, Jared’s hand clutching impossibly hard to Jensen’s, and for a bit there, Jensen wasn’t sure Jared would be able to handle it. But once they’d leveled off, Jared calmed some, his breath evening out, and Jensen gently stroked through his hair until the nervous man fell asleep.

Jensen took advantage of the large, first class seats and slid them back, gathering Jared up against his body and holding him close as the big man slept. Some of his favorite moments in the first few hours were the times the flight attendant would come by, stopping long enough to give them a warm smile and ensure he didn’t need anything.

It was the relaxing, soothing heat of Jared’s breath on his jaw that finally tugged Jensen into slumber. On the flight there, he hadn’t been able to sleep the entire time -- he’d never been able to on a plane -- but with Jared, it was a different matter entirely.

When he woke, Jared was watching him, stroking fingers along his jaw, and Jensen smiled sleepily at him before sharing a soft kiss.

Jensen entertained Jared with the in-flight TV for the remainder of the trip. That and their meal, which the lanky man picked at more than ate. Jensen was okay with that, though; he still wasn’t sure how much of the processed food he wanted Jared to have -- the last thing he needed was for the big man to get sick while he was still trying to get better.

The nerves seemed to rise in his husband once more as the flight attendant announced their impending arrival. They moved their seats up again and Jared turned wide, slightly panicked eyes to Jensen, causing Jensen’s heart to skip a beat on his behalf. He moved forward to pull Jared close and kiss him softly, slowly and tenderly, thoroughly distracting the nervous man until he felt the slight bump of wheels on the runway.

“Now we can breathe easy,” Jensen murmured against Jared’s lips as he pulled back and smiled. “No one can hurt us ever again.”

The airport was ten times more crowded than the one they’d left and Jensen didn’t try and stop to reassure Jared. Instead, he simply grasped his husband’s hand, hooking their bag over his shoulder and wove through the large building as quickly as he could. He could feel the tense line of Jared’s body, knew the other man was just barely keeping it together, and Jensen’s main focus was getting Jared outside.

The last favor he’d called upon his Professor for was waiting for them in the parking lot. Jensen’s SUV, several bags of clothing -- bother winter and summer items -- and a laptop. Mainly because Jensen promised to give his teacher a detailed account of the jungle man -- and no, the man would never know he was lying.

In an effort to settle the last of Jared’s shaken nerves, Jensen had him sit in back and pick through the clothes as he began to drive. It was an eight hour drive -- almost nine, with their brief stops -- but Jensen had no desire to stall. He knew Jared wouldn’t truly be settled until they got to somewhere they could call home.

Two hours before the cabin, Jensen stopped at a grocery store. He’d never planned on tapping into his inheritance as much as he did but he was more than a little relieved for it. As Jensen pulled into a spot and parked, he looked over at Jared with a soft smile. The big man had spent a good deal of time staring out the window, taking in scenery he didn’t know, asking quiet questions as he got more comfortable.

Jensen thought it was a good sign, but he could still feel his husband’s subdued attitude. “Jare?” he murmured softly when the other man didn’t look toward him right away. Reaching out, he laid his hand on Jared’s thigh and squeezed softly. “We’re almost there; we just need to stop for some food. Do you want to wait out here?”

Jared nodded slowly and smiled. “Yeah, not more new for today. Can we have chocolate?”

Jared’s fingers lifted to Jensen’s cheek and his thumb drew lines between some of the shorter man’s freckles.

“Yeah, I promise to get plenty of chocolate.” Jensen turned into the soft touch and let his lips brush along the calloused pads of Jared’s fingers. “I’m gonna leave the keys in, so you can play with the radio buttons if you want. But I want you to lock the doors and not open it for anyone but me.” Jensen wasn’t too worried about anyone stopping at the SUV to talk to Jared, but he just wanted to be safe.

At the words of warning from his mate, Jared found himself smiling a little brighter. “I can take care of me-myself. No one is getting me away from you again.”

“Okay, I’ll try not to worry too much.” Jensen laughed softly and moved forward, sliding his fingers along the back of Jared’s neck and bringing him in to brush a soft kiss over his lips. “I won’t be too long.”

Jared watched Jensen walk over to the small store and then looked around the inside of the _SUV_. He couldn’t remember what that meant but he would ask again later. He amused himself for a while by pushing the buttons on the radio; he liked some of the sounds that came out. Sometimes they reminded him of the bits and pieces of songs he could remember his mama singing. Sometimes, the noises were screechy and hurt his ears.

Leaning back in his seat, Jared looked around for a bit longer. There was another button in front of a square shape in front of him. He pushed it and the front fell down and papers and other things fell out onto his lap. He was still stuffing them back into the opening when Jensen returned.

“You are not tidy,” Jared chided softly.

Jensen -- who was a little out of breath because he’d never shopped so fast in his life -- stared slack-jawed at Jared for a moment, a chocolate bar raised in his hand. “You shouldn’t be going through my things.” He scrunched his face up and stepped back to gesture to the cart. “Gonna unload these. Have some chocolate. But only a couple pieces, okay?”

“What happens if I eat more than two pieces?” Jared peeled back the wrapper and bit off one of the small, dark squares. Turning in his seat, he couldn’t resist leaning over to poke into one of the bags Jensen set on the seat.

“It will hurt your stomach. Too much sugar can give you a tummy ache and trust me, you don’t want one of those.” Jensen slid up to Jared’s side once more and parted his lips. “Share the wealth,” he murmured, sliding his hand over Jared’s thigh.

Eyes narrowing slowly, Jared’s smile widened and he leaned in to slide his chocolate-covered tongue forward past Jensen’s lips. Jensen didn’t need any chocolate to make his kisses sweet; he was the best thing Jared had ever tasted. As their lips moved together slowly for a while, Jared let his fingers glide up his mate’s chest until he could feel for the missing long hair.

Pulling back from the kiss, Jared tilted his head.

“Grow your hair back,” he urged softly.

“Gladly,” Jensen whispered, still mostly breathless from the kiss. Sometimes the way Jared kissed him, it was like the rest of the world ceased to exist, and that was the best thing Jensen had ever experienced. “Only a couple more hours ‘til the cabin. We’re almost home.” His fingers tightened over Jared’s thigh, his body leaning into Jared’s warmth.

“I want to be home,” Jared said quietly. Smiling, he slid both arms around Jensen’s body and pulled him into a tight hug. “Can I sleep in a real bed? With you?”

“Yes, it’s a real bed. And it’s _big_. With really fluffy blankets. You’re gonna love it.” Jensen was actually kind of looking forward to that. He would have given up everything for a lifetime with Jared on that island, in that cave, but he couldn’t lie about the exciting prospect of a real bed. “Wait until you see the shower; we can both fit real easily in there.”

“The small waterfall, that’s hot.” Jared nodded and tried not to look proud that he was remembering so many things. “Let’s get this store on the road,” he stated and slapped Jensen’s on the back.

Jensen couldn’t help laughing, ruffling Jared’s hair fondly as he stepped back to push the cart across the lot. Jared seemed happier now, especially since they hadn’t had to interact with a lot of people since the airport, and Jensen was really starting to believe they could be happy here.

Sliding in behind the wheel, Jensen leaned across to kiss Jared -- all tongues and teeth, rougher than usual -- before pulling back and sliding his seatbelt into place. “Show. Let’s get this _show_ on the road. Though in this case, ‘store’ is oddly appropriate.” Grinning over at his husband, Jensen tucked hair behind the taller man’s ear before shifting the car into drive. “What do you want to do first in our new home?”

Jared stopped halfway through trying to get his shoes off.

“I want to take all my clothes off. And your clothes off, and go onto this _bed_.” It seemed like the safest place to be with Jensen. While Jared was feeling a little less rattled by everything, he still felt safer near Jensen than anywhere else.

Wetting his lips slowly, Jensen’s fingers curled around the wheel and there was the possibility his foot pressed a little harder on the gas pedal. “That sounds like a fantastic plan. We have a couple things that will have to be put in the fridge but all the other unloading can wait until tomorrow or later.” Jensen smiled over at Jared, reaching out to take his hand. “Probably won’t stop feeling like I miss you until I feel your body again.”

Finally managing to get his shoes off, Jared reached down to tug at the socks and tossed them behind him into the back seat. When Jensen eyed him, Jared shrugged. “It’s already messy in here.”

They laughed for a little while and Jared pulled his feet up onto the seat, twisting a little to the side so he could watch Jensen’s face. “Can I tell you something?”

“Absolutely anything,” Jensen nodded, reaching out to curl his fingers around Jared’s ankle and massaging softly.

“When I was in that place, I gave up. I thought -- I got confused. The lady that came in sometimes, she said that I had no one and they kept asking if I had a last name -- and I didn’t. And -- I... all my words that I learned from you. They were just for you and me.” Jared sighed and twisted his fingers together.

“I’m trying, I think I want your last name -- like -- it’s really important. It makes me someone. But not just the name -- I’m someone because you love me.” Blowing out a breath, Jared looked over at his mate nervously. All the time he’d spent sitting silently, mourning the things he’d never see again, Jared had been thinking. He’d thought about what made his time on the island so special and important -- and all his memories included the man he was starting at. “You are in all the good I memory.”

Biting down on his lip, Jensen gently stoked his fingers along Jared’s smooth skin, his heart fluttering as the words settled in him. Understanding Jared wasn’t an issue anymore; Jensen hardly even felt the need to correct him on little slip-ups, and hearing Jared fumble like this only suggested how serious he was trying to be. “The minute I got away from the hospital and the cops, I started working on a way to get to you. Even if it had taken weeks, or months, I never would have stopped fighting to get to you. And I promise it will always be that way.”

Smiling over at Jared, Jensen shrugged slightly and looked back at the road. “You are the most important someone, Jared. So those memories? We’ll just keep making them, we’ll learn things together, and I’ll teach you sometimes and you’ll teach me sometimes. You and me? We’re gonna have the perfect life.”

Nodding decisively, Jared picked up the chocolate out of the _cup holder_ and broke off another piece. Slipping it into his mouth behind his hand, he tried to hide it from Jensen.

“You’re not as sneaky as you think you are,” Jensen laughed and held his hand out. “Give me a piece and I won’t tell anyone.”

Sighing, Jared picked up the chocolate again and broke off a piece. Leaning over as far as the seat belt would allow, he slid one hand over Jensen’s thigh and held the chocolate just in front of Jensen’s lips with the other.

“Here you go,” he said softly.

Jensen resisted the urge to let his eyes flutter closed as he leaned forward and sucked the piece of chocolate from Jared’s fingers. “How about you tell me the names of the things you see, to pass the time as we drive.” Jensen dropped his hand over Jared’s and slid it just a little higher. “We’ll be there before you know it.”

“I see leaf-green eyes,” Jared said softly. His fingers slid up the strange material and squeezed tightly. Jensen’s thigh muscles flexed as he drove. “I can see… a shirt.” Jared let his fingers fall to Jensen’s chest and he tugged at the button. It took him a few tries to get the hang of it -- Jensen had explained buttons earlier and Jared through they were strange.

“Mmhmm, and you might be seeing a dirt road if you keep this up,” Jensen laughed, shifting under Jared’s touches. He knew he could push the man away but really, he’d missed Jared’s touch far too much.

Jared peered up at Jensen from under his bangs and grinned. His fingers worked on another button and he managed to get it open. His fingertips trailed down Jensen’s chest between the folds of cloth. “I see skin but it’s not as golden. Needs more sun.”

“Still summer; I promise to work on the tan.” Jensen swallowed thickly, looking over at Jared. “Jare, m’driving. You’re kind of distracting. And... we’ve still got over an hour.” His hand slid up and back through Jared’s hair. He wasn’t making his words sound very convincing, he was sure.

Jared tilted his head slightly and brushed his lips against Jensen’s wrist.

“Drive faster,” he murmured. He nipped at his mate’s wrist, curling both hands over it to hold it still so he could suck gently on the skin near Jensen’s thumb.

“God, yeah,” Jensen whispered, nodding slowly as the heat of Jared’s mouth soaked into him. The way Jared’s lips moved across his skin, the soft noises falling from his lover’s mouth, Jensen knew this couldn’t be good. Until he stopped, at least. “I- I keep thinking of you as my lover, and then my husband, and I’m not sure which is right.” His foot on the pedal pressed a little harder, tipping them six miles over the speed limit.

“Both,” Jared mumbled. His lips were passing over the velvet smooth skin, tracing the veins that were barely visible. There was something so very soothing about the way Jensen’s flesh smelled, tasted; it was the same -- that part of things hadn’t changed.

Jensen cleared his throat, shifting in the seat, eyes darting to each mirror and scanning up ahead to make sure there weren’t any cops waiting.

“W-which do you prefer?” If they managed to make the drive without crashing, Jensen would be thoroughly impressed with himself.

“Husband,” Jared said quickly. The word meant something to Jensen. He could tell, because every time Jensen said it, his eyes would widen slightly then kind of go a little darker. “Husband. I’m your husband. You gave me a ring. It’s real.” Dragging his tongue up Jensen’s arm, Jared hummed softly.

“It’s very real. You have my last name. You belong to me.” Jensen grinned then shuddered, the heat of Jared’s tongue sinking into his skin. “Mmm, Mr. Ackles, you’re kinda drivin’ me crazy.” Jensen’s laugh was deep, his eyes sweeping along the distance mile marker. At least they’d be turning off the main road soon.

Jared pressed his husband’s palm to his cheek and smiled. “How many minutes until we are there? I want to see my lake.”

“Soon, less than an hour, I-” Jensen jerked his elbow toward the dirt path, slowing the SUV until he could turn off onto the road. “Some time here on this dirt road, then you’ll see the lake and soon after, the cabin. From the start of this road, past the lake, all the land is ours.” Jensen grinned over at Jared, ignoring the first little bite of pain. He hadn’t been here in so many years, he hadn’t considered how it might affect him.

“It’s yours, but we can share, right?” Jared shifted back a little and started looking out the windows again. The trees were so different, there were some small, colorful flowers and Jared couldn’t wait to get out to walk. Stabbing at the buttons on door, he tried to get the window down. “Make it down, Jensen.”

Laughing softly, Jensen rolled Jared’s window down, deciding against releasing the child lock on them -- Jared still wasn’t used to electronics; it wouldn’t hurt to be safe. “You’re wrong. It’s _ours_. My parents left it for me and whoever I chose to spend my life with; that’s you. And since you’re an Ackles, it makes it even more yours. Okay? Everything is ours now.”

“I like ours.” Jared tugged on the seatbelt but couldn’t get it undone so he leaned closer to the window and let the air rush across his face. “It smells like growing things,” he said over his shoulder.

“I thought you’d like that. The forest here, it’s always smelled lovely here. Spring and summer time, when everything is fresh and lovely. And fall, when it’s crisp and sharp. And snow; oh, Jared, I think you’ll love snow.” Jensen sighed softly, happily, and reached out to brush his fingers over Jared’s arm. “I love you, Mr. Ackles; don’t think I’ve said that recently.”

“Snow’s cold, frozen rain -- but _you_ said you’ll keep me warm. And you’ll make the fires for a while.” Jared leaned his head against the window frame and watched the new world speed past him. “And I will learn everything,” he said softly.

Every time he felt a longing to be back where everything was so familiar, he was reminded of the cold, chemical smell of the hospital; the time he’d spent without Jensen.

“I think that you needed to be saved too,” he said quietly when he sank back against his seat.

Eyes sliding over to his husband, Jensen swallowed thickly before looking back at the path. He didn’t spend a lot of time thinking about his life before Jared, there was really no point, but now he couldn’t help it. “Before I met you, I’m pretty sure I didn’t even know what it was like to really smile. So, yeah. You’re right. I did need to be saved. And thankfully you did that.”

“So. It’s good.” Jared nodded. “Because things have to meet somewhere in the middle. You can’t meet on one side or the other. This home, _our_ home, it will be our middle.”

Jensen laughed and nodded, slowing as they turned the corner. “You’re much smarter than I even know.” He stopped as the view of the lake broke through the trees and he grinned, pointing. “Our lake.”

Tugging on the door handle frantically, Jared laughed. “I want to get in the water. Now, Jensen. Let’s go.” He couldn’t get the door open so he turned and tugged on Jensen’s sleeve. “Just five minutes for a break. I’ve eaten _too_ much chocolate and my stomach is pain and I should get in the water.”

His eyes flashed with joy as he saw that Jensen caught his lie immediately.

“It would take an hour to walk down to the shore from here. How about you wait the fifteen minutes it will take to drive there, then I promise we’ll get in the water. Okay?” Jensen laughed and sped up once more, taking some of the bumps a little too hard. “You gotta promise to help me get naked before we get in the water, though; deal?”

Jared nodded reluctantly, but there was still a smile on his face. He laughed when they hit a particularly deep pothole and everything in the SUV shifted and bounced. When the chocolate landed in Jared’s lap, he grinned over at Jensen. “Magic!”

Jensen snorted a laugh, shaking his head.

“I thought you’ve already had too much chocolate.” But he didn’t protest when Jared helped himself to a piece and opened his mouth when the man leaned over to feed him one.

When he finally came around the corner to the lakeshore, he skidded to a stop, sliding his car into park and throwing the door open. He grinned over at Jared as he slithered out, already pulling at his shirt. “Come on, we can spread my clothes out and you can take me right here on the shore.”

 _Yeah_ , that was something Jensen had really missed.

Jared stretched his arms high above his head as he walked around the front of the SUV. The water was almost still; no waves broke against the shore. Closing his eyes for a few moments, Jared breathed deeply. The air was full of new smells, and missing some that were so familiar to him.

The grass and rocks beneath his bare feet felt strange and he stepped carefully as he walked over to his... husband. “I’ve changed my mind. Want to see the bed first.”

Jensen dropped his shirt, slowly turning to look at Jared and smile softly. “Yeah? Just a little drive around the lake.” He took Jared’s hand and pulled him closer, lifting his free hand to point across the lake. “See? Hidden behind those trees there. That’s our home.” He turned to Jared’s body as the taller man looked across the lake, tilting his head up to brush lips along his husband’s neck.

“Our home,” Jared echoed. He could see the building and it seemed huge to him, even though Jensen had said it was considered small.

Jensen’s lips were gentle and yet insistent on Jared’s neck, and he curled his arms around Jensen’s head and pressed him close. It was nice to feel Jensen’s skin under his palms again. Jared hadn’t been sure he would ever feel it again. But here was Jensen and they would soon be at their home.

Lips pressed to Jensen’s hair, Jared spoke softly. “Take me to our home? I want... I want to be home.”

“I want you,” Jensen admitted with a soft whisper and a laugh, lips moving over Jared’s skin for another long moment before pulling back. “Come on, let’s go.” He broke from Jared and hurried quickly behind the wheel, barely waiting for the passenger door to close before he was revving the engine once more.

It should have taken a half-hour to get around the lake -- if Jensen had driven a normal speed and avoided the roots and potholes -- but in the end, it was more like fifteen minutes. When he skidded to a stop in front of the cabin and looked over, Jared was holding the side of the door and Jensen laughed. “I, uh, maybe wanted to get here pretty fast.”

Blinking a few times, Jared nodded and loosed his hold on the door handle. Smiling slightly, he looked over at the cabin. It looked more like a home than he had expected. It wasn’t like the buildings in the city; it was all made with wood, logs slotted together in a way that Jared could understand. “Is that home?”

“It is,” Jensen murmured and nodded, smiling at Jared before sliding out from behind the wheel, stepping to the backseat to grab a few bags. “Grab some of the groceries along the side there, stuff that needs to be in the fridge. Then we can get in bed, okay?”

Jared shoved his door open and leaned in to grab the bags that were left. Crunching down the top of the bag, he had a look inside. Everything smelled good. Heading along the front of the SUV, Jared slowed until he was standing still as he looked out over the lake. There were trees everywhere; the wind was rustling through them and bringing the smells of the forest to Jared’s nose.

Gathering the bags from the place he’d set them in front of the door to unlock it, Jensen turned slightly and his gaze fixed on his husband. The wind caught in the bigger man’s hair, causing it to flip up slightly, and heat curled thickly through Jensen. He almost couldn’t believe they’d come to this moment, after everything.

“Jared?” he called out softly, smiling at him. “Come on, let me show you around your new home.”

Turning to look over his shoulder one last time at the lake, Jared headed over to stand beside his husband. Leaning down, he pressed a kiss to Jensen’s cheek. “We’re home,” he said. “I like my lake.”

“Good,” Jensen murmured, small smile on his face before leading the way inside. He’d already arranged things for their arrival, the power had been turned back on, at least. Things would have to be cleaned -- there was a fine layer of dust covering everything -- but that was okay. And even if Jensen’s mind swam with memories of being here as a child, he knew Jared and he would rapidly make new memories to make the ache better.

He led the way into the kitchen, opening the fridge and setting the bags inside.

“We’ll organize things later; couple of your bags go up there in the freezer. I’m just a lot more interested in bed.” He _was_ kind of exhausted, after all. Among other things.

Jared put the bags down on the counter and looked around. “This belonged to your mama and dad?”

“Yeah. My dad built it, actually; took him years.” Jensen shrugged and turned to Jared’s bags, sorting through them quickly to put ice cream onto the freezer shelves.

“Did you come here a lot?” Jared could see a difference in Jensen since they had arrived. He was thinking about things, maybe remembering things like Jared did sometimes.

Jensen bit his lip and nodded slowly, giving in to some of the memories as he considered how to answer. “Every summer when I was a kid; sometimes over Christmas. They always liked the seclusion, you know? The idea we were all alone.” Jensen closed the fridge and turned to Jared, smiling softly. “Guess I was always built for that. The cutting off from the world just to be with one person thing.”

Nodding, Jared watched as Jensen put things away. “Do you miss them?”

“Yeah, of course. I mean... there are always times when you think it’d be nice to have parents, when you need advice or something.” Jensen shrugged and leaned against the counter. He could so easily picture his mom, lifting him up on this counter, sharing the mixing spoon from the brownie batter. Closing his eyes, he exhaled slowly at the surprising tightness in his chest. “S-sorry. Didn’t think... how being here would affect me. M’fine.”

“Remembering is good,” Jared said softly. Turning slowly, he stepped between Jensen’s legs and leaned in against him. “When we remember, it means that those people are still with us. My mama… I thought at first that being away from her would mean that I would forget. I think, though, it makes her closer. She’s right here.” Jared pressed his hand over his heart.

“She is,” Jensen agreed with a small nod, leaning into Jared and laying his head on the taller man’s shoulder. “Take me to bed now?”

“You might have to take me. I don’t know where it is.” Jared smiled into Jensen’s hair.

Jensen laughed softly and slid back enough to take Jared’s hand, guiding him down the hallway. It was kind of amazing how he felt a little like he could conquer every problem as long as they were together.

“Welcome home, Mr. Ackles,” Jensen murmured as they stepped into the bedroom, bringing him close so their lips could meet.

Jared peered over Jensen’s shoulder. “That’s our bed?” He’d been expecting something smaller, like the hard and horrible bed in the hospital. Grinning at Jensen, Jared smoothed the shorter man’s hair back off his forehead. “We should probably run and jump.”

“Go for it,” Jensen laughed, smacking Jared’s ass a moment before he took off for the bed. As he watched Jared sail through the air and crash onto the surface, Jensen grinned, shrugged, and went tearing after. He no longer doubted they could be happy here and that was enough for him.


End file.
